The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

[Gaybutton]

A tip-of-the-hat goes to Jomtienbob for sending these.

Can you think of any more? If you can, please post your "entries."
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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

§ Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

§ Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

§ Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

§ Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

§ Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

§ Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

§ Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

§ Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

§ Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

§ Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

§ Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

§ Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

§ Glibido: All talk and no action.

§ Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

§ Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

§ Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

§ Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.



And the winners are:

§ Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

§ Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

§ Abdicate v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

§ Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

§ Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

§ Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

§ Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

§ Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

§ Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

§ Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

§ Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

§ Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

§ Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

§ Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

§ Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

§ Circumvent n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[jason105]

Thanks.
Made me laugh out loud!
all the best

[bkkguy]

A tip-of-the-hat goes to Jomtienbob for sending these.

it's like deja vu all over again

the tip of the hat should go to RichLB - see his 2010 post here entitled Fun With Words:

Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
....

but both should be chastised for spreading urban myths - this old chestnut has been doing the rounds for years! and according to Mensa it is not the Mensa Invitational at all and the Washington Post confirms is actually from their Style International column

bkkguy

[christianpfc]

Some are hilarious (and some I don't understand - you need cultural background).

"Welcome to Scambodia" (not my own idea, found it somewhere on the internet)