From The New Yorker:
NSR = Need some roughage
TXT L8R = Can’t find reading glasses
WWIS = What was I saying?
3dickPM = Read three detective novels this afternoon
X2EZ = Crossword puzzle too easy
WSWS = Wearing socks with sandals
RxV-->BW = Got Viagra prescription, just need Barry White cassettes
TN2WMP = Trying not to wet my pants
PNP = Peeing in pants