With only 2 more days until Gay Marriage becomes legal in Thailand I thought this might be interesting:
There are probably no two traditional marriages that have been performed exactly the same way in Thailand, nor are there any concrete rules regarding the sinsot (explained later) or dowry which are always major concerns among farang.
Traditional Thai Buddhist wedding ceremonies are taken very seriously and steeped in ancient traditions. They can be as simple or elaborate as the couple wants and vary greatly from one region in Thailand to another. For instance a marriage ceremony in Phuket probably varies a great deal from a marriage in the rural provinces in Isaan based on their own local customs and cultural influences.
The Basic Elements:
The Sinsot:
The Sinsot is a cash gift presented to the Thai’s family by the groom at one of the early stages of the ceremony. In gay marriages the farang would most likely be considered the groom in this capacity, although there are no steadfast rules regarding this. Note that sometimes farang confuse Sinsot with “Dowry”. In Thai culture the Dowry is actually cash (and/or other gifts) which is presented by the bride’s family to the family of the groom. In a gay marriage one could assume that a dowry will not always be expected or applicable.
Khan Mark Procession:
There are several stages in a traditional Thai wedding which usually spans several days. Again, this varies from one province to another, but in most cases the ceremony itself would include a Khan Mark Procession where the groom (farang) parades through his partner’s village wearing a traditional Lanna costume with dancers staged in front of the procession and locals beating drums behind the procession. The purpose of this is to pay respect to the elders, but in all honesty, I think they do this because Thais just love parades…555. My guess is that in gay marriages the farang would most likely play the role of the groom.
Sai Mongkal:
After the Khan Mark Procession the groom reunites with his partner and the family members will then each present their own blessings where they tie sacred strings around the couple’s wrists to signify their bonding for life. Note; It’s common to see Thais wearing these strings, but it doesn’t always mean they’ve been recently married – as Sai Mongkal is also performed when bonding any two people together regardless of the reason for their bonding. I watched two Thai friends go through a Sai Mongkal ceremony when one of them was leaving the village to enter military service as an example.
Anointing Ceremony and Rod Nam Sang:
The anointing part of the ceremony is performed by monks near the end of the wedding ceremony to signify their blessing of the marriage and bring good luck to the couple and the couple’s families. Rod Nam Sang (water pouring) is also performed at that time which is when the ceremony is about to conclude.
Again, each province has their own unique customs that influence the way marriage ceremonies are conducted, but the elements mentioned above are the basics.
Note: In Thai Buddhist weddings the monks do not marry people – they simply bless the bonding of the two people for merit-making purposes.
When I got married in one of these ceremonies myself the ceremony was held in a fairly remote village located on the Thai/Cambodian border and at the conclusion of the ceremony (3 days later) my partner and I were led to a small shack in the jungle and left alone for 3 days and 3 nights to complete the bonding process. Friends and family members came to the shack at dusk and dawn each day to bring us food and other provisions without making the slightest sound. This was the part of the ceremony that remains the most memorable and enduring to me.
Contrary to what TAT is contemplating, I seriously doubt we’ll see too many gay marriages involving farang - and the ones that do take place will probably only include the Registration of the marriage and not a formal ceremony like the one I just described. The few farang that I know who plan to tie-the-knot after January 23rd only plan to have their marriages Registered and will forego the formal ceremony. Like myself, these farang reside full-time in Thailand and have been in LTR’s with their Thai boyfriends for over 10 years.
I only know one other farang personally who participated in a formal Thai Buddhist wedding ceremony and he now resides in Chiang Rai with his partner of 23 years.