"I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

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Dodger
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Dodger » Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:10 pm

I've given many boys money over the years when I felt they sincerely needed it and I liked them. I always made it a habit of telling them it was a gift, not a loan, and nothing was expected in return. I never donated any large amounts. Usually 40-100 baht for food, or, in a few cases I can remember donating a few thousand baht if I felt a boy I liked was truly in a bind. I enjoyed being generous within limits...avoided being taken advantage of by the hawks...and appreciate those who remembered these small offerings, as Thais commonly do.

Learning to say "sorry, I can't help" isn't easy, but I've used this phrase many more times than the phrase "sure, no problem".

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Gaybutton
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Gaybutton » Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:00 pm

Dodger wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 6:10 pm
I've given many boys money over the years when I felt they sincerely needed it and I liked them.
Emphasis on sincerely. If it's someone I've known for a long time, like, no red lights, and have grown to know I can trust or he has done something special for me, that's a totally different story.

ISAC69
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by ISAC69 » Wed Jan 15, 2020 10:54 pm

I think it's a culture thing too, to not lose face Thai will not say that he needs money but he will use the word "loan" .

The only exception for me is when I take a boy for very long time sometimes the whole of my vacation and the the boy behaved well I give more than we agreed or buyhim a nice present but if the boy starts telling tragic fairy tails I show no interest usually they stop.

Captain Swing
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Captain Swing » Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:00 am

On my second visit to BF's village we were barely out of the car when some random relative came up looking for a loan. I forget the amount but I think it was somewhere between 500 and 1000 baht. She asked BF, but he asked me--I had money, he didn't. I sighed, but forked it over. Later that evening we were sitting around after dinner, various relatives coming and going, when he came up to me and, to my utter shock, handed me the money back. It had legitimately been a loan of convenience--she had needed cash for some immediate expense, but wasn't able to access her ATM until later. She had every intention of paying me back, and did, the same day. Maybe it was an exceptional experience, or maybe "My boy is different," but it was proof that it CAN happen.

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Gaybutton
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Gaybutton » Thu Jan 16, 2020 8:16 am

Captain Swing wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:00 am
it was proof that it CAN happen.
Consider yourself fortunate. Perhaps you got it back since it was a small amount. In any case, your story is a rare one indeed. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, that's the only such story I've heard in all the years I've lived in Thailand.

I don't want to leave the impression that all Thais asking to borrow money do so with the intention of never repaying it. That would be an incorrect assumption. Often enough, it's not that they don't want to pay it back, but simply cannot pay it back whether they want to or not.

The point is if you give money to a Thai person, even if it's supposed to be a loan, you need to hand it over with the expectation of not getting it back - ever. The odds are greatly in favor of that being exactly the way it's going to work out.

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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by traveller123 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:27 am

More lighthearted:

On my first trip to my BF's village about 10 years ago he organised a party for my birthday and during the evening the local drunk swayed up to me clutching a spanner.
Not to attack me with it but BF explained he wanted to sell it to me.

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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by traveller123 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:30 am

Gaybutton wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 8:16 am
The point is if you give money to a Thai person, even if it's supposed to be a loan, you need to hand it over with the expectation of not getting it back - ever. The odds are greatly in favor of that being exactly the way it's going to work out.
I have been with my partner over 11 years and several times lent his sister various sums of money maximum 10,000 baht I have always been repaid

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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Gaybutton » Thu Jan 16, 2020 12:22 pm

traveller123 wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:30 am
several times lent his sister various sums of money maximum 10,000 baht I have always been repaid
Of course you have been repaid. Otherwise you would not have continued lending her money. If she didn't repay you the first time, would there have been a second time?

Meanwhile, you and Captain Swing are exceptions, definitely not the norm.

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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by ISAC69 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:20 pm

It really depends on the relationship. If your Thai BF genuinely loves you his relatives won't do something that would harm the relationship between you two and will pay back loans, but if the boy is just using you as walking ATM his relatives will do the same and there is no chance you receive back any loan you give them.

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Jun
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Re: "I NEED MONEY FOR RENT"

Post by Jun » Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:57 pm

Gaybutton wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 8:16 am
I don't want to leave the impression that all Thais asking to borrow money do so with the intention of never repaying it. That would be an incorrect assumption. Often enough, it's not that they don't want to pay it back, but simply cannot pay it back whether they want to or not.
Any bar boy who is reasonably proficient at his job should be CAPABLE of repaying debt. He can earn several thousand baht per week and if he chooses, could reduce living costs to perhaps 2 or 300 baht per day.
Whether they have the aptitude or motivation to do so is another matter.

The lad I referred to was met only on a short time basis

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