How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

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fountainhall

How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by fountainhall »

Chatting to a friend at the weekend, the question of offing boys and the number of duds we have ended up with came up. I wondered what the experience of others has been.

I was visiting for two decades before I came to live in Bangkok. Was it perhaps because the bar scene was so new for me that I can only recall one of a great many offs who did not live up to expectations? He was working in Screw Boys. I was staying with gay friends near Robinsons on Sukhumvit who did not mind my taking guys back to my room. As soon as we got to the room, the smile disappeared as the clothes came off and he showed zero interest in giving his customer anything like a good time. It was a major disappointment, made worse when he did not perform as he had agreed prior to my taking him off and then asking for an additional Bt. 500 on what was already a quite generous tip (one I would normally give for much better service!)

Since living in Bangkok for 18 years I have had just two duds. One was a lovely guy from Classic whom I had spotted on an earlier visit. Once in the room he eventually said he could not do as I wished and he had agreed to in advance because, he said, he was too new to the job! Even so he turned out to be a fun guy to be with and I was not really upset with him. Perhaps I should have been. A few months later I saw him in a video - one of a series made by a European who would have his explicit way with lots of boys who worked in bars (can't recall the name of the site). In that video he seemed happy enough to do what he had said he could not do with me!

I'll skip over the other as it was just a totally unmemorable encounter. The other offs I have had have always been in a range from good to, in some cases, quite exceptional. Three out of goodness knows how many (certainly hundreds) seems a reasonable average - unless one is the occasional poster and blogger Christianpfc who candidly writes about his many experiences - too many not very good. What is a reasonable average for the occasional dud?
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Gaybutton
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Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by Gaybutton »

I don't recall a specific number, but if you mean boys who, once they've been taken off, won't do what they agreed to do, or just lay there like a lump, act as if they want to do what they have to do and get it over with, get their money and leave as quickly as possible, or seem much more interested in watching TV than interested in you, those are my idea of duds. I had a few like that over the years.

Obviously that's not why I took them off, but it's part of the chance you take when taking off a stranger. When that happens I don't argue or make a scene. I just give them their money, send them on their merry way, and have nothing further to do with them. Plenty more boys where they came from.
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Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by Dodger »

I'm going to say something that I know some people will simply not believe - but in all my interactions with the BOYS spanning two decades, and I would need to spend a week with a calculator just to come up with a close guess as to how many there have been, I can not recall ever having a "Dud".

I attribute this primarily to the level of expectations I had during these interactions which varied greatly depending on the type of boy I was with, his personality, level of maturity, sexual orientation, sexual preference(s), etc. as well as the fact that I always focused on showing HIM a good time and made that a priority - versus - focusing on my own needs and/or desires. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true.

I have never once taken a boy off, regardless if he was a bar host, gogo boy, free lancer, or just someone I met a the disco or local karaoke, where I told him what I expected in bed, let alone ask ridiculous questions like; What do you do?, do you top?, do you bottom?, do you swallow?, etc. etc. etc. I would simply just ask him if he wanted to go out to have a good time without setting any rules or expectations whatsoever.

I'm not criticizing anyone, but I know a fare share of punters who go out on the scene with their expectations planted solid in concrete, and these expectations are always centered on what they can have for themselves. How they can be satisfied. How they can get the best bang for their buck (meant literally). Then they communicate these expectations to the boy 10 minutes after they've met creating a mood of...I'm the Master - you're the Whore", and then they expect to be fully satisfied in bed. If the boy pulls it off and somehow manages to satisfy his Master, he should be congratulated for achieving a Herculean task, but, unfortunately not all working boys are Hercules.

The times that I can recall, and there's been many, where I simply didn't have fantastic sex, had much more to do with the fact that I was too drunk to perform more than anything else.
fountainhall

Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by fountainhall »

Dodger wrote: Tue Jul 02, 2019 3:30 pmI can not recall ever having a "Dud".
Amazing Thailand! LOL
Dodger wrote: Tue Jul 02, 2019 3:30 pmI attribute this primarily to the level of expectations I had during these interactions which varied greatly depending on the type of boy I was with, his personality, level of maturity, sexual orientation, sexual preference(s), etc. as well as the fact that I always focused on showing HIM a good time and made that a priority - versus - focusing on my own needs and/or desires. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true.
Could not agree more. But I do tell him of my preference. The last thing I want is to make any boy feel he has to do something he is not totally comfortable with.
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Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by Gaybutton »

I think we all know that many farang treat these boys like shit and I despise people who do that and try to justify doing that.

I also don't think asking questions and making sure he understands what I want is "ridiculous" at all. I think it's important to be clear and make sure the boy understands and agrees so that nobody ends up disappointed and upset. And if the boy truly likes the same as I like, so much the better. Those are the boys who will be at my house often.

I agree it is important to treat the boy with respect and try to see that he has a good time, and I always try to do that. But I want to have a good time too. That's why I'm taking him off. If it doesn't happen that way, I'm not interested in seeing him again. In my opinion how he treats me is just as important as how I treat him.
firecat69

Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by firecat69 »

Interesting Topic. There were about 18 years of my visits to Thailand . Initially they centered around BKK , but still visited Chiang Mai, Phuket, Pattaya. At first the trips were 10 - 14 days and then they got gradually longer to 30 days and then 60 days and even a stint where I spent most of 18 months in an apartment on the Chao Phraya.

I am having a hard time remembering Duds. Certainly there must have been a few . And certainly there were were various degrees of satisfaction . There were many boys who I repeated with over many years . There was time when I got sick of the Bars and 90% of my offs were from the Apps . My overall experience did not change .

I had the misfortune of 1 thief and he substituted a fake iPhone for my iPhone . And true that would not likely happen from a boy taken from a Bar. Also I remember turning away 2 boys at my door when they looked nothing like their photos.

But I have always founds the Apps useful and I would say 50% of the boys I hired from the Apps worked in the Bars . I know some go to the Bar to see if the boy on the App looks likes his photos . I believe I only did that once and he looked exactly like his photos or even better.

My overall satisfaction , I would have to say is very good. Certainly better than anywhere else I have visited and there have been lots of countries.
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Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by Dodger »

I'll never forget that first encounter.

I was 45 y/o and he was 18 (ish) and when the white towel he was wearing around his slim brown waist fell to the ground any and all expectations that I may have had regarding our time together were immediately exceeded. Everything after that was just icing on the cake. That's the way it's always been with me.
fountainhall

Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by fountainhall »

Dodger wrote: Tue Jul 02, 2019 5:18 pmI'll never forget that first encounter.
I doubt it any of us can forget the first. Although for me it was not quite what I expected - if only because I had no idea what to expect! I have written about it somewhere before and apologies to those who know the tale.

I had just moved to Hong Kong in my late 20s. After a few months I had to go to the US and Europe on business. In those days flights between Europe and Asia were essentially buses with several stops. As my company had a deal with Air France, my return meant flying from London to Paris, changing to a 747 which then stopped at Dubai, Delhi and Bangkok before ending up in Hong Kong. So I decided on a one night stopover to find out what Bangkok was all about.

Stupidly, I took the advice of a travel agent friend who said I had to see the temples. So she booked me into the Royal Hotel at Sanam Luang. I assumed I could therefore see the temples in the afternoon and then move to Suriwong for the evening. But there was so much I just did not know and little means to find it out. The first was that unless you had the cash for a limousine, to get from Don Mueang to anywhere you had to take a Thai minibus. These would be packed up with 12 passengers and luggage and then just stopped at each hotel en route. So it took about 90 minutes to reach Suriwong. But the Royal was another hour or so away. I was mad at myself.

Then having got to my room, I decided on a shower and a quick nap. Having flown in from New York with only a few days in Europe, I was starting to suffer from really bad jet lag. I woke up after 4 hours! I had no real idea where I was in relation to Suriwong and it was now 7:00 pm. First I had to get a quick meal. Then, for about the only time in my life, I was delighted to find there was a tout outside the hotel.

"Want a girl bar?"
Nope.
"Boy bar?"
Yup

For what seemed like peanuts he agreed to take me to somewhere and the price would include a drink. With the rush hour almost over, it did not take all that long but Suriwong was not the destination. It was the bottom of what is now trendy, expensive Lang Suan. The tuk tuk turned into a small driveway and stopped at the entrance to an old Thai-style house. I learned later this was a sleaze joint named Stockholm. It was a large space with lots of seats, a smallish stage and no customers apart from me. But no boys were in evidence. As the mamasan disappeared to get my beer, about a dozen boys all dressed in jeans and T-shirts materalised and just stood on the stage staring at me. No dancing. No bodies on show. Nothing.

I was quite nervous. Apart from saunas in Amsterdam and clubs in Hamburg, I had never been to anywhere with boys on tap, as it were. I also felt a total fool because I was sure there was no chance of getting anyone back to my hotel. But the mamasan was surprisingly helpful. Rooms upstairs, she chirped. Very cheap, You take boy. Which boy you like? Actually I liked them all, so who to choose? Seeing my indecision, she then whispered. Take two. They do show for you.

This was definitely virgin territory for me. But it sounded more than intriguing. So I picked two boys, got them drinks and upstairs we went. The room was basic in the extreme with a small bed and one chair. The two boys went off to shower whilst I just sat in the chair wondering what was about to happen.

They returned with towels round their waists. First I wanted to see what they would get up to so I gestured that I would just stay seated. The towels then came off and my excitement was as high as Dodger's. The boys started making out with each other. Slowly this developed into a full-scale f**k. Then the one being f***ed motioned me to come over and sit on the bed. There he got his hands on my jeans, undid my belt and started on the zip. For modesty's sake, a curtain will come down on what happened thereafter. Needless to say, after I had dressed and given the boys what I assumed were reasonable tips, the mamasan got me a tuk tuk. Soon I was lying on my hotel bed wondering if it had all actually happened!

That was the start of around four visits a year for a couple of decades. I never again found the Stockholm bar. But the Rose Hotel was to become my new base and the delights of Suriwong my nightly home. What joy! Phuket and Chiang Mai excitements would follow not many years later. But that's another story!
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Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by gerefan »

Since my first visit to Thailand in 2004, when firecat69 met me in the Tarntawan and showed me Soi twilight, (he won’t remember!) I can only recall two duds.

One was straight and just lay there.

The other was so good looking he was out of most people’s league. Another dud, but I gave him a second chance and that proved I was right all along.

The thing with duds is that they are so rare you remember them!

Before “moving” to Thailand I spent more time than was good for me going to Amsterdam. Again I can only remember one dud....another cracker!
firecat69

Re: How Many Duds Have You Experienced?

Post by firecat69 »

gerefan wrote: Tue Jul 02, 2019 9:25 pm Since my first visit to Thailand in 2004, when firecat69 met me in the Tarntawan and showed me Soi twilight, (he won’t remember!) I can only recall two duds.
I'm sad to say that you are right. I don't remember.
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