Inter-Generation Reationships

[Jun]

Having said that, the farang I know (or know about) who are enjoying long-term relationships with their Thai counterparts, are doing so with partners who had never worked the bar scene or sold sex dates on the apps. It's not "successful relationships" that are the exception - it's successful relationships that were spawned in the bars (or the apps) - where the Thais are trained to give blow jobs to walking ATM's that are the exception.

Also, in just about every farang/Thai long-term relationship that I know about the Thai works and helps contribute to the normal living expenses. But again, these are not bar boys or bar girls that I'm talking about, these are just Thais who want security, companionship, sex, romance, etc., just like every other normal person out there.

What does work ? Age gap, arrangements etc
I'd imagine a typical 60 year old farang is going to struggle to keep a relationship with a cute 20 year old going.
Now if that farang were a nice person, in better shape than than average, owned a nice apartment & contributed the majority of the living expenses, it would help. If the younger partner was about 40, even better.

Ok, the reality is most of these farang-Thai, generation gap relationships end in failure, whether with a bar boy or not.

How many examples do you know of where the younger person has never worked as a money boy ?

Pattaya is somewhat unique in attracting so many money boys.

I also wouldn't really expect most inter generation relationships to last, unless of course, there was a significant subsidy for the younger partner.

That shouldn't stop us discussing what does work.

[Feel free to edit the opening post]

[Gaybutton]

How many examples do you know of where the younger person has never worked as a money boy ?

[Feel free to edit the opening post]

First, why would I edit the post? I don't see any problem with it.

Regarding your question, apparently you think Pattaya is populated only, or at least mainly, by money boys or boys who once were money boys. The fact is most boys I know and associate with were never money boys in any sense of the term and would never be. They probably wouldn't meet your standards, though. Most are in their 30s - some even older.

You regularly talk about diversifying your finances. Maybe some looking for a genuine, successful, long term relationship ought to try diversifying where they meet boys. In my opinion, the chances of it working out well with bar boys and money boys are close to zilch. For me, the money boys are just fine for short-time "fun" and that's about it.

[Jun]

In my opinion, the chances of it working out well with bar boys and money boys are close to zilch. For me, the money boys are just fine for short-time "fun" and that's about it.

I get that. I suspect you're right too.

Now what about the age gap relationships with non money boys ? What's the success rate there ? I think that's where Dodger is saying it can work.

[For what it's worth, I have no ambitions of getting into a relationship & certainly not when living 5000 miles away]

[Gaybutton]

Now what about the age gap relationships with non money boys ?

The best I can tell you is the relationships that do work out are mostly with non money boys. But still not very many of those because I think most farang who come to Thailand come for a 1 or 2 week holiday and convince themselves they've found true love with a bar boy and rarely ever even meet non money boys.

The non money relationships that I've seen work out are almost always with farang who either live in Thailand or spend most of their time in Thailand.

[Dodger]

.......Now if that farang were a nice person, in better shape than than average, owned a nice apartment & contributed the majority of the living expenses, it would help.......

Totally agree.

Actually most, if not all, of the LTR's that I was referring to in the other post fall into this category. Also, most the boys in these relationships (including Jai) are in their early to mid-thirties

Huge age gaps can be a big detractor - no doubt about it, so staying in shape is really important. I think a persons biological age, which is influenced a lot by how well he takes care of himself and his mental outlook on life in general becomes much more important than his chronological age.

Being around young people keeps us young, as long as we remember that we learn from them - they don't learn from us - because life only moves forward, never backwards. The last thing a young guy wants to hear is a bunch of lecturing and pontificating from his older partner. What he wants is for his partner to listen to him as he tries to explain how he sees the future.

I asked Jai once how he felt about being with such an older partner.

His response verbatim:

"You are older than me today - but a time will come when you are younger then me, so what we do with this moment in our lives is all that really matters."

Since hearing him say these words I've gone on to share this with many people - because it touches on the very root of Buddhist-thinking, and helped me understand so much about how they think.

[Dodger]

Now what about the age gap relationships with non money boys ? What's the success rate there ?

Good question.

I would imagine the success rate is fairly low, even when dealing with non-working boys, unless both parties were open and honest about their motivations and expectations from the very beginning. Where a lack of honesty and openness can be a real deal-breaker. Conversely, the success rate appears to be much higher for couples who have been totally honest and open with each other...sincere in their motivations, and truly like each other and enjoy being together.

Thais (gay and str8) commonly enter relationships with older foreigners for financial security, improved social status, improved quality of life, or to escape difficult circumstances, where farang typically prioritize things like personal compatibility (including sexual), companionship, cost benefits, etc.

The couples I know who are enjoying successful long-term relationships with non-working boys all seem to have grasped the importance of being honest and open from the very beginning, including financial considerations which of course are important elements in any relationship. Understanding Thai culture and being respectful to them, their families, and their belief systems, are also key success factors.

As a side note: I've seen a trend over the past 6 years since my retirement - and I know this is going to wrinkle some feathers, but the trend is that the farang expats that I know and come in touch with who live alone do not seen as happy as the ones who have live-in Thai partners. I'll go as far to say that many seem down-right depressed. Make of that as you will.

[Gaybutton]

The couples I know who are enjoying successful long-term relationships with non-working boys all seem to have grasped the importance of being honest and open from the very beginning

And from the boy's point of view, your looks are not priority importance as it is with many farang, at least at first.

"I know I'm ugly. The other day I got mugged. The guy took off his mask and made me wear it."
- Rodney Dangerfield