Boys Requesting Money

[Jun]

Do you respond to the messages?

Sometimes.
On the one hand I'm trying not to cause offence, but on the other hand I definitely don't want to be chatting so much that it sets expectations of more frequent meetings for my next trip.
I've turned off notifications, so there will be a delay in any replies I do send.

Meanwhile, with another boy, I'd foolishly agreed to contribute to a specific expense, as soon as I see a receipt.
He seem to think don't trust him.
Maybe there's some culture difference. Where I come from, if settling up for some shopping bought on behalf of someone or a shared expense with friends or family, it's normal to produce a receipt. Despite 100% trust. No one asks for the receipt, as it's produced anyway. For a start, it reduces the odds of genuine mistake. Isn't this normal ?

So with a bar boy, "trust & verify" does not seem unreasonable. Especially when we're not quite at 100% trust yet.

[Gaybutton]

He seem to think don't trust him.

Miller: "You don't trust anybody, do you?"
Stavros: "That is why I have lived so long."

- David Niven (Miller), Anthony Quinn (Stavros), 'The Guns of Navarone'

[Dodger]

Where I come from, if settling up for some shopping bought on behalf of someone or a shared expense with friends or family, it's normal to produce a receipt. Despite 100% trust. No one asks for the receipt, as it's produced anyway. For a start, it reduces the odds of genuine mistake. Isn't this normal ?

No, it's not normal. You're not dealing with friends or family members back home - you're dealing with Asian money-boys.

Based on how you judge his character...how much you like him...and how long you're known him, either give him the money or don't, but don't play games asking him for a receipt because you're only going to offend him. He already knows that if he told you the REAL reason he needs the money you'd never give it to him.

Butterfly's are free...but only as long as they don't get pulled into any spider webs.

My practice was to always tip well and show them a great time, but I rarely responded to any requests for money. When the Thais know your M.O. most will respect you.

[Gaybutton]

I fully agree with Dodger's post above.

[Jun]

He already knows that if he told you the REAL reason he needs the money you'd never give it to him.

In this instance, he has told me the real reason he needs the money.

Or since money is fungible, he's told me about a genuine expense. Admittedly, if we total up all his expenditures for the week, he's probably picked the one item which he thinks I'm most likely to pay for.

For all I know he might be spending twice as much on beer, but there is definitely money going out on the item discussed. Which I think is a good cause.

Anyhow, the problem is resolved. I've paid for the medical treatment. Thanks to some evidence, I've not overpaid.

[Jun]

Less than 24 hours later, I got a request for rent from the same boy !

I've totally ignored this one.
Paying the rent is his responsibility. It works out at 60 baht per day.
His earnings from me alone in June were comfortably into 5 figures (well deserved) & he has other customers.

Rain & no customers was part of the "justification". The truth is somewhere between trying it on and a failure to budget.

[Gaybutton]

Less than 24 hours later, I got a request for rent from the same boy !

That doesn't surprise me in the least. I've said it before and I'll say it again: No matter how much you "help" these boys, it's never enough. They will keep coming back for more and keep coming up with all kinds of stories to convince you to give more - and it will go on and on until you put a stop to it, and that means breaking off all communication. ALL communication.

Often it is very difficult to do that if it is a boy the farang really liked very much, but sooner or later the truth reveals itself. Whatever you thought was the basis of the relationship or friendship, from his end the only real motivation he ever had was to soak the farang for every baht he could get. And when he finally realizes that he's not getting any more, he'll move on to the next farang - if he doesn't already have one - or several.

If you hook up with a money boy, you need to understand that is exactly what he is - a money boy. That's what he wants and his job is to get it. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy your time with him. Of course you can. But if pleas for money start coming, remember you are only his customer, not his benefactor. Don't let yourself fall into the same trap I've seen countless times over the years. And I'm no different from anyone else. I've been in that trap too - long before I learned what I know now.

Again: "If you want love in Thailand, rent it"
- Richard Burk