Equal marriage registration services to open Thursday, January 23

[Jun]

I hope you will have sense enough to know and make very sure of what you're getting into financially. Some families will require a dowry. You may be expected to put on a lavish wedding party. You may be expected to financially at least help the boy's family, in some cases take over all their expenses, including their medical expenses, home repairs, new car, or whatever. Be prepared for the fireworks if you ever refuse.

That sounds like a complete nightmare to me. Maybe no problem if you're Bill Gates, but if your financial resources are sufficient for 1~2 people, who wants to be depleting funds to support an extended family?

Not to mention, how would assets be divided up if there were a divorce?
If your partner were entitled to half your assets, marriage brings a fundamental change in the opportunity set.

[Dodger]

I hope you will have sense enough to know and make very sure of what you're getting into financially. Some families will require a dowry. You may be expected to put on a lavish wedding party. You may be expected to financially at least help the boy's family, in some cases take over all their expenses, including their medical expenses, home repairs, new car, or whatever. Be prepared for the fireworks if you ever refuse.

Regardless if it's a gay or str8 marriage - the Thai in the relationship will always inform the farang well in advance of what the expectations are that you mentioned. This would never be kept as a last-minute surprise.

I've seen some pretty lavish ceremonies (str8) where the farang dishes out a healthy dowry - and then some where there's no dowry contribution at all. It all depends on the dynamics of the Thai's family...the farangs financial standing...and the couples pre-arranged plans.

My first marriage in Thailand included a lavish ceremony like you mentioned - but no registration of the marriage because we were gay. There was no dowry expected because we had previously build a new home for the family which was blessed by the monks and included a party for the family, thus our respect for his family had already been displayed and gratefully received.

For my upcoming marriage with Jai we will forego the lavish ceremony and dowry for the mere fact that we've been bonded together for nearly 11 years and have considered ourselves as being married regardless of the laws. We only wish to have our union made legal at this stage.

Regarding Registration Offices and potential scams; It's been reported on Asiannow (previously ThaiVisa.com) by multiple farang that when they went to various offices to register their marriages (str8 marriages) that some of the offices directed them to use an Agent. One farang stated that he paid an agent 12,000 baht to handle the Registration for him. Many Agents actually display "Marriage Registrations" on the signs outside their offices. I would never fall for this.

We'll know soon enough which provincial offices handle the registration for the nominal fee (a few hundred baht) - and which ones want to play the "agent game".

There's only a few gay couples that I know, or have heard of, that plan to marry, and all of these involve couples who have been together for at least a decade.

[Gaybutton]

the Thai in the relationship will always inform the farang well in advance of what the expectations are that you mentioned. This would never be kept as a last-minute surprise.

I don't know where you're getting that from, but always? I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. Marriage was not the case, but relationships, even long term relationships - I've seen many cases when farang did get unpleasant surprises, very unpleasant, and either ended up giving in to them, only to be faced with even more surprises, or had to end the relationship. I have yet to see any such surprises that for the farang were pleasant ones.

When I was still a naive novice in Thailand I nearly became such a victim myself. Fortunately I came to my senses before I parted with much money. That's when I began to truly understand the Richard Burk Philosophy, when he advised "If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

I'm glad you mentioned about same sex couples who you know have been together at least 10 years. I hope nobody reading this will rush into anything too quickly.

Personally I am very happy with my own relationships and I intend to continue the way it works beautifully for me - keeping everything status quo. As for, upon my death, taking care of Thais who are the most important to me, I made a Thai will.

I don't mean to come across as discouraging, but I do mean to come across as hoping people will be truly cautious about what they are doing. For those of you who wish to get married, fully understand what you are getting into, and are truly ready for it, congratulations, best wishes for a happy marriage, and te salute.

[Dodger]

I don't know where you're getting that from, but always? I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. Marriage was not the case, but relationships, even long term relationships - I've seen many cases when farang did get unpleasant surprises......

Just for clarification: I was referring to couples who were either married or contemplating marriage...definitely not other "farang meets boy" communications.

I've seen just about every type of "unpleasant surprise" that you're talking about happen to unsuspecting farang which usually involves money, and these scams happen sometimes before and sometimes after they're married. So don't get me wrong I hear you there.

There's only one way to mitigate the risk involved with marrying anyone and that's choosing the right partner to begin with. And this pertains to any marriage... in any country...in any culture. Sounds cliché' - but it's just where the tire meets the road. Believe me, I've learned from my own mistakes.

To put this in context: Very few gay farang marry their Thai boyfriends. I have no idea what the percentage is - but it's very small. And the majority who have (not all) had been in long-term relationships with their partners for a long time before they tied the knot...at least the one's I've known. Not only does the farang have to want to marry the boy - but the boy has to want to marry the farang which isn't as common as some may suspect.

[Gaybutton]

Believe me, I've learned from my own mistakes.

It's hard to be getting along in years without making a few of those along the way - most minor, occasionally serious. But at some point you discovered the secret - learning from them . . .

Now that I've reached my time of life when "elderly" is a legitimate description, I still make mistakes - just different kinds from before.

[Jun]

There's only one way to mitigate the risk involved with marrying anyone and that's choosing the right partner to begin with. And this pertains to any marriage... in any country...in any culture.

It depends. Choosing the right partner is ideal, but I imagine very few get married without thinking they have the right partner. Yet there are a lot of divorces. So as mistakes are made, often this method is not foolproof.

Others mitigate the risk with pre-nuptual agreements.

Some just consider marriage to be too much of a risk.

[Dodger]

......It depends. Choosing the right partner is ideal, but I imagine very few get married without thinking they have the right partner. Yet there are a lot of divorces. So as mistakes are made, often this method is not foolproof.

Some just consider marriage to be too much of a risk.

My motto for as long as I can remember has been ..."Life is an Adventure not a Destiny". And If I spent all my time looking for things that were foolproof and risk free I'd be sitting in a room staring at a wall- because life simply doesn't offer any guarantees.

Digging back in my memory banks I know 6 gay farang who got married to their Thai boyfriends and 3 more that are holding out for it to become legally recognized - which is a very small percentage of couples comparatively speaking. Of these 9 couples - all but one reside in Thailand full-time and have been in LTR's with their respective partners for over 10 years. Another similarity is that none of the Thai boys in these relationships worked in the sex industry.

My advice to newcomers to Thailand has always been to avoid even thinking about marrying HIM...just enjoy your holiday...keep those butterfly wings flapping...and return home with good memories. Plain and simple. Long-distant relationships have an extremely high failure rate for obvious reasons.

[Dodger]

The article below talks about recent promotions for "Gay Marriages in Thailand" to boost tourism, although none of the promotions are directed towards Pattaya. Considering Pattaya has the largest LGBTQ community in the Kingdom this is a bit surprising.

Interesting that just two weeks ago International Living published it's 2025 Top 5 Best Cities in Thailand to Retire Index - and Pattaya wasn't mentioned there either.

https://www.pattayamail.com/latestnews/ ... ion-487669

[Gaybutton]

Interesting that just two weeks ago International Living published it's 2025 Top 5 Best Cities in Thailand to Retire Index - and Pattaya wasn't mentioned there either.

Apparently those article authors and I do not share the same opinions.

[Gaybutton]

If any of you do get married, please walk us through the procedure, step-by-step, with as much detail as you can give us, beginning with which registration office you went to.

Did they accept whatever you might have had as proof of being single? Did you end up having to go to your embassy? What happened with that?