What is Thailand Doing to Me?

[Dodger]

I’ll start by telling you about a remark my daughter made to me in a recent message: “Dad, what was that “555” at the end of the first paragraph in your last message”?

Since living in Thailand I went from:…

- Using LOL to automatically using 555 (or 55555)
- Looking in front of me when walking down a sidewalk – to staring downward with every step I take as if I’m crossing a mine field.
- Looking angry when I was angry – to just smiling and making pretend I’m not angry.
- Listening to music when driving my car – to remaining dead-silent as I concentrate on every single
moving object.
- Avoiding food when bugs were in the area – to eating the damn things.
- Looking at the labels to make sure it wasn’t made-in-China – to knowing it was made-in-China and just hoping for the best.
- Not being able to speak one complete sentence in Thai – to not being able to speak one complete sentence in Thai.
- Liking animals – to fearing half of them and watching people butcher the other half.
- Thinking Thais avoided telling the truth when caught in a lie due to some deeply ingrained Buddhist principle – to understanding that they do this simply to avoid being caught.
- Caring about the clothes I wore every day – to tossing on a t shirt and some wrinkled shorts and calling it a day.
- Sitting in a movie theater munching on popcorn waiting for a show to start – to being forced to stand at attention in a room full of robots.
(The last time I did this - the minute I stood up I unintentionally cut a loud fart and ended up spilling my popcorn on the floor. Everyone around us laughed. Jai was embarrassed). I just lied and said it wasn't me...mai pen rai.

55555

[Gaybutton]

- Wouldn't even dream of eating non-refrigerated eggs - to accepting that non-refrigerated eggs are perfectly safe to eat.
- Getting in trouble if I take off my shoes in the house - to getting in trouble if I don't take off my shoes in the house.
- Being able to buy clothes virtually anywhere - to finding it very difficult to find clothes in my size.
- Being shocked and mortified at even the thought of a woman entering a men's room while I'm peeing - to paying no attention to the cleaning woman in the men's room.
- Knives being part of a typical place setting - to knives being unheard of in a place setting and being expected to use the side of a tablespoon instead.
- Everybody individually ordering food in a restaurant and the only one eating your order is you - to orders being for everyone at the table and food is shared communally.
- Paper or linen napkins being the standard on restaurant tables - to a roll of toilet paper serving the same purpose.
- Rarely even seeing motorbikes - to motorbikes vastly outnumbering cars and being the most common form of transportation.

[Jun]

- Looking in front of me when walking down a sidewalk – to staring downward with every step I take as if I’m crossing a mine field.

Paris was a bit like that.
However, I prefer having to watch the pavement for uneven slabs, sink holes, raised plumbing & other hazards to the dog turds that littered the street in Paris.

I don't know what the Thai word for pavement is, but I guess it does not imply that it's a zone for walking, as the American word does.
Motorcycle parking lot, vending & dining area would be more appropriate.

Also add:
-Looking both ways before crossing a 1 way street.