Boys

[Jun]

If that happens and they also get away from the lady boy acts, especially the ones with that horrible lip synching, and leave the lights alone rather than those distracting colored lights (does anyone actually like those?) - then even I might start showing up again.

I like enough lighting to clearly see the boys & no more.

I have been in "shows" where they have a couple of muscle boys under a fishing net, apparently naked, but with such poor lighting, that I wasn't quite sure. What's the point of that ?

The customers should be able to see the boys & vice versa.

[AdamKY]

The Boys – a different perspective: My visits to Thailand were to immerse myself in Asian culture. I had been fascinated by the few Asians I observed in high school, their looks, accents and whatever Buddhism was. Although I visited the bars, I took a boy off to, hopefully, establish a friendship. So, a ‘date’ often consisted of going out for dinner, perhaps shopping the next day and seeing the sights. My ‘rewards’ were that the boy often negotiated prices saving me 50 – 70%, translation, a chance to observe cultural norms up close and language instruction. I often saw things tourists would never see, like his living space, meet his friends and see sections of town a tourist would never visit.

On one occasion I introduced my new friend to flying. He was extremely nervous getting on the plane, more so when the engines started and terrified as the plane began rolling down the runway. When the plane leveled off, I opened the window shade and had him look at the view of the roads, river, rice fields and villages below. He quickly calmed down and was fascinated at what he saw. I feel honored to have been able to have done that.

The guys I took off were good looking, sexy, but more importantly, honest and friendly. The sex is better when the guy wants to have sex with you rather than has to in order to earn a living. Friendships last a lot longer than an orgasm.

[Montree]

On one occasion I introduced my new friend to flying.

I also took a Thai guy on his first flight when we flew to Cambodia. It was such a success that we went again four years later. He loved everything about the trip except the language. The two languages are very closely related but “Non” would correct the Cambodian speaker as he decided they were just “wrong”. It was very funny and great fun.

I’m still in touch with many of the guys I’ve offed over the years. Just today I’ve been called by a guy from Cambodia who’s now in Bangkok and a guy from Laos who I met in Pattaya but who’s now back home on the family farm. It’s great to keep in touch with them and follow their progress.

[Dodger]

The sex is better when the guy wants to have sex with you rather than has to in order to earn a living. Friendships last a lot longer than an orgasm.

I wish I would have said that!

Excellent points - and I couldn't agree with you more - that becoming friends and building some chemistry with a boy from the start is what it's all about.

I don't take boys off anymore as I have a partner, but when I did my preference would be to invite a boy (or boys) I liked out to a karaoke, disco, morlam, beach party, island-hopping, etc. to have fun - and take it from there.

I never made any demands or expectations with the boy(s) I offed other than the fact that we were going out to have a good time. I know some may choke on that - but it's the truth. I never asked for anything other than their company...made some great friendships...never disappointed...great sex...usually getting much more than I paid for...and feel good about myself in the process.

To your point (which was excellent), building those kinds of friendships are what it's all about...and sex is so much more enjoyable when you feel like he's attracted to you as well.

[Pigseye27]

I couldn’t agree more as well! My boyfriend tells me I don’t just chat with a boy, I INTERVIEW. The whole experience is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling.

[Jun]

It's great when a boy is chatty, friendly, good fun, or any combination of those.

On the other hand, there's one lad I've met who is not at all talkative, but is possibly the best in bed I've ever met.
I don't think it's an English language capability issue either. I'm still hoping to meet him regularly on my next trip.

I suspect if he were more sociable, he'd already be someone's boyfriend.

[Dodger]

....... I often saw things tourists would never see, like his living space, meet his friends and see sections of town a tourist would never visit.

In the early days I thought I understood what made the boys tick - subscribing to the notion that "they are all the same", but went on to learn that exactly the opposite is true.

It wasn't until I started spending time up-country visiting their homes, meeting their families, witnessing their lives and lifestyles first-hand that I started to gain a completely different perspective. Years ago I constructed a home in a remote village on the Thai/Cambodian border where I spent a considerable amount of time spanning 6 years with a previous partner and his family during which time I gained a much deeper understanding of the culture for which I'm grateful.

Like all Thais, the working boys were raised Buddhist whose habits sometimes throw westerners a curve. As unique as they are in their personalities, they all have ingrained traits stemming from their Buddhist upbringings, e.g., politeness, sense of calm, respect for their elders, love food, and combine sanuk (fun) in all that they do, including when they're at work. We all know there are some bad apples out there, but, for the most part, they grow up being polite, honest, thoughtful, respectful, and hard-working when provided the opportunity.

It's not common for Thai parents to preach expectations to their children the way we do in the West, thus the reason that most boys we know are lacking when it comes to planning for the future. To a Thai Buddhist, appreciating the day, actually each moment in each day, is what they focus on the most - knowing that they are "impermanent", just like everything else around them.

They are much more concerned about a persons "Karma" (inner self) than they are things like age or ethnicity, which can help explain why relationships between Thai and farang with large age gaps are possible. My father, who was Buddhist, told me once that karma is the truest reflection of who we really are - where the body is simply a means of transportation. I've come to realize that the Thais have the very same vision.

Rarely does a boy appreciate being confronted by a farang with a list of demands and/or expectations for his service, nor does he feel comfortable negotiating price. This is just a fact. Even if he didn't agree with something the farang was insisting on (or demanding) chances are he would just lower his head (a sign of discomfort). nod his head "yes", and try not to lose face by refusing such requests. Some farang understand this. Some don't.

Mai pen rai

[Jun]

Advice needs to be relevant to modern society.

In Pattaya, it's not just about Thai boys. That's history.
It's boys from Laos, Cambodia, the occasional Thai & more rarely, lads from other countries.

Boys on apps will usually ask what you will tip them.
There's nothing wrong with asking a boy what he likes to do in bed. With lads from certain countries, it would be foolish not to.

A date should leave both parties satisfied. The boy will expect the customer to keep promises regarding the tip and in return, the customer should expect the boy to keep his promises. Also, it works a lot better if both parties treat each other with respect.

As for the supposed unwillingness to negotiate, well it seems that almost without fail, Bangkok gogo boys will ask for more than is tipped. It's been a few years since I offed one, but hand over 2000 (ST) and they ask for 2500. From what I hear from others, if you hand over 2500, they ask for 3000 & so on. That's in a city where 1500 on the apps is common.
In a country where variable pricing and haggling is common.

As for the region being guided by religion, please tell us, what does Buddhist teaching have to say about bribery & corruption ?

[Rocket]

I’m not buying the karma krap with the boys I deal with. Granted, the farm fresh boys from Thailand probably believe it. I don’t. If a murderer or a child sex offender don’t get caught, they got away with it. Plus all these traffic deaths because it was meant to be , they must have done something wrong in the past. I know what I believe doesn’t mean anything to them. That’s fine.But I think it holds the country back,imho.

I respect the boys and tip well. It’s transactional. I want my satisfaction first though. If it’s a true relationship then, yeah, it’s give and take, compromise.

The boys I’ve had recently must watch the internet and seeing how much rent boys in other countries make, they get jealous and feel they deserve more. They rush and try to ask for more. Maybe because I’m older they don’t enjoy it as much, they might respect my being elderly but it’s a job to them.
Maybe the internet has changed them. How will North Koreans behave if they ever have their freedom from the dictatorship? They’re in their bubble but when introduced to Western ways they will certainly change.
I’ve had several boys who were courteous and polite, always “up to you”. The same ones, well two of them ask why we have so much money and they don’t. One said to me that he knows!,he knows about social security and pensions etc. His performance suffered and I don’t contact him anymore.

Of course I met him at eighteen and he’s kind of a ladyboy now, so that certainly doesn’t help his attitude.

[Dodger]

As for the region being guided by religion, please tell us, what does Buddhist teaching have to say about bribery & corruption ?

I never suggested that the region was guided by religion...being well-aware of the fact that corruption rules over here.

What I did emphasize is that the mannerisms and personality traits of the Thai boys we're talking about are largely influenced by Buddhist teachings which start at birth - which is quite factual I can assure you.

I understand your concerns about trust issues with boys you find on the apps. None of that surprises me. But that's your choice. As I've mentioned numerous times, when I was butterflying I preferred hooking up with the boys at public venues versus cyber space - so I never experienced the types of challenges you describe.

You get what you pay for in life. Yes, it costs more to cruise entertainment venues, buy drinks, pay off fees, etc. but the type of problems you say you're having with the app boys are almost nonexistent. To each his own as they say.

Also, Bangkok gogo bars have ALWAYS been a rip off IMO, as are the boys who work in them.