Use of the terms "boy" and "boyfriend"

[Jun]

your boyfriend would probably prefer being called "your boyfriend".

Yes, not manfriend.

Personally, I actively dislike the use of husband and wife in any gay relationship or marriage.

Surely it should be husband and husband ?

[Montree]

About ten years ago I had an accident and had to go to hospital in Pattaya. My Thai boyfriend “Non” who was then 33 went with me.

A nurse asked my nationality and produced a form in English which she filled out as I answered her questions. It got to a section about anyone accompanying the patient and she asked “Relationship?”. Non replied emphatically “Boyfriend” and the nurse wrote it down.

The whole idea that there was any other word to describe him is ridiculous.

[Gaybutton]

The whole idea that there was any other word to describe him is ridiculous.

Along with that, I think the whole idea that there even need be any other word to describe him is ridiculous.

The Lone Ranger's trusted sidekick "Tonto"

I'm shocked! You called him "sidekick." Why, how utterly offensive! I'm horrified, appalled, dashed, and gobsmacked. The internet police ought to immediately arrest you because you did not refer to him as "companion", "assistant", "helper", "partner", or some other less blatantly demeaning term.

Hmmmm, I think Mr. Peabody always referred to Sherman in a terribly demeaning way too . . .

[werner99]

It got to a section about anyone accompanying the patient and she asked “Relationship?”. Non replied emphatically “Boyfriend” and the nurse wrote it down.

The whole idea that there was any other word to describe him is ridiculous.

But doesn't "boyfriend" have a very broad meaning?

A "boyfriend" could be someone you have been dating for a short period.

Isn't there a better term for someone with whom you have a long-term, probably live-in, and possibly monogamous and very committed relationship. I prefer "lover".

[Gaybutton]

Isn't there a better term for someone with whom you have a long-term, probably live-in, and possibly monogamous and very committed relationship.

Why? What difference does it make what term you use as long as both you and he are happy with it? I fail to see any reason to look for alternative terms.

[werner99]

Additional questions:

(1)
In the "Gay World" section, we have a discussion of "Grandson of Lee Kuan Yew Marries His Boyfriend".

If a person marries his "boyfriend", is he still a "boyfriend", or does he become a husband or spouse?

(2)
Is it appropriate to call a distinctly elderly boyfriend --say some over 75 or even over 85 -- a "BOYfriend"? Doesn't English have a better word? Native speakers of English please help!

[werner99]

Why? What difference does it make what term you use as long as both you and he are happy with it? I fail to see any reason to look for alternative terms.

Gaybutton, what you wrote makes perfect sense.

Nevertheless, we sometimes might need alternative terms.

I have a dear American friend who always refers to his lover as "my sweetie". I found this term strange, especially the first time I heard it.

Whatever terms that want to use for and with each other is fine with me. They seem to have a very good relationship.

But when I refer to his lover, I do NOT say "your sweetie" but rather "your lover".

[fountainhall]

(1) If a person marries his "boyfriend", is he still a "boyfriend", or does he become a husband or spouse?

I doubt if anyone continues to call his partner "boyfriend" after formal marriage. Some do use the terms "husband" or "wife" although I have never worked out why. I have also never come across "spouse" used in the context of gay men but i expect some may use it. I believe most will refer to a marriage partner simply as "partner".

(2) Is it appropriate to call a distinctly elderly boyfriend --say some over 75 or even over 85 -- a "BOYfriend"? Doesn't English have a better word? Native speakers of English please help!

I cannot think of one - other than "my lover" or "my partner".

when I refer to his lover, I do NOT say "your sweetie" but rather "your lover".

I have heard friends call their lovers/partners "honey" and other such endearing terms. It is highly unlikely that any friend, even a close friend, will use such a familiar term as "sweetie", "honey" and so on about the friend's lover/partner. If the two friends have known each other a long time, it might perhaps be said very occasionally, but only in a joking way.

[werner99]

Fountainhall,

Thanks for the answers from a native speaker of English. Much appreciated.

And I enjoy your many posts!

[Trongpai]

OK, from now on I'll be using male Homo sapien or H. sapien.

How about:
Lads, short for laddy and lassy, too Scottish for me
Chaps, too British
Dudes, too Californian
Mates and Blokes, too Australasian
Guys, as in 'Guys and Dolls', too Broadway-ish
Gentlemen callers, too antebellum
Youngsters, too Ed Sullivan

I know a farang that calls them all nippers.