Use of the terms "boy" and "boyfriend"

[Gaybutton]

Dudes, too Californian

I could probably handle dudes as long as the dudes I meet don't turn out to be duds . . .

[Trongpai]

OK, so I've worked out avoidance of the B-word, but now what do I call the carbon based life form that I've been living with for the past 16 years?

Partner, no too business like
Husband, don't like it, too breeder-ish
Wife, same as above
Lover, ahh no
Fuck Buddy, OK, closer
Friends with benefits, not quite accurate but I've had a few of those.
Roommate, not really
Pain in the Ass, sometimes!

Actually, we mostly seem to call each other by first names. I do rather like the non gender Thai word, fan.

What's all this LBGTQ binary, non-binary, cis-something or the other and who here is a Q but not a G? What about adding an F for faggots, is that a bad word? LBGTQF

[a447]

What's all this LBGTQ binary, non-binary, cis-something or the other and who here is a Q but not a G? What about adding an F for faggots, is that a bad word? LBGTQF

In Australia we have now added "A" and "+". We'll run out of alphabet letters soon.

I'm happy to use "boyfriend" because in this instance "boy refers to gender, not age.

[mahjongguy]

In my American English I refer to my live-in friend of 14 years as my partner, as in life partner. We are dedicated to each other's well-being. No one will think that means we jointly own a law firm.

I avoid boyfriend because it has the connotation of something easygoing and probably temporary. I don't like lover because it emphasizes the romantic and sexual, so it's almost certainly too personal for casual conversation. Also, to me it sounds clandestine, like a secret affair.

I have heard him refer to me as his boyfriend in English but in Thai he will usually say fahn, or poi yai in a more formal situation.

In contrast, there is a venomous woman in our mooban who has been overheard discussing her farang husband using the Thai pronoun for "it".

[werner99]

I refer to my live-in friend of 14 years as my partner, as in life partner. We are dedicated to each other's well-being. No one will think that means we jointly own a law firm.

I avoid boyfriend because it has the connotation of something easygoing and probably temporary. I don't like lover because it emphasizes the romantic and sexual, so it's almost certainly too personal for casual conversation. Also, to me it sounds clandestine, like a secret affair.

Very well stated!

But "partner" can be confusing. Perhaps it would be best to use the terms "life partner" (or "loving partner"?) or "business partner" for clarity so that people know what type of partnership one is referring to.

I recently met an American woman who referred to another woman as her "partner". I thought that they were a lesbian couple, but later learned that they owned and operated a veterinarian clinic together.

Some people refer to their "lovers" or "boy friends" as "companions", but this term can also be confusing. "Companion" could refer to some short-term arrangement, perhaps even a single date.

And some animal rights activists refer to their pets as "animal companions".

As Gaybutton has noted, perhaps some of us are making too much of a fuss about these terms. People should call and refer to their boyfriends, lovers, partners, spouses, husbands and/or companions, whatever they like.

And would someone please explain the term gigolo? Does this term refer only to a man that has been hired by a women for romantic or sexual purposes? Can this term be used in male-male relationships?

And what does one use to refer to the guy that a gay has offed from a go-go bar for the night? A "trick"? A "one-night companion"?

[Gaybutton]

People should call and refer to their boyfriends, lovers, partners, spouses, husbands and/or companions, whatever they like.

I think they have to. I think we all know what we're trying to say, but apparently no word exists in the English language that properly conveys the thought.

[windwalker]

Obviously it is acceptable to refer to adult Thai males as boyfriends, go-go boys, money boys, bar boys, teenage boy, bus boys, etc, but they are men and not "boys" and to refer to an adult Thai male as a "boy" is derogatory. Maybe there is not a proper descriptive word in English but in English speaking countries one does not call a man a boy. Unless, maybe, you are an American Southern "cracker" who enjoys using that term in reference to people of color.
Point is, if you don't use the term "boy" to refer to an adult male in your home country then why use it in Thailand?

[Jun]

........Maybe there is not a proper descriptive word in English but in English speaking countries one does not call a man a boy. Unless, maybe, you are an American Southern "cracker" who enjoys using that term in reference to people of color.
Point is, if you don't use the term "boy" to refer to an adult male in your home country then why use it in Thailand?

I'm not sure where you have been living in recent decades, but I can think of at least one English speaking country where it is fairly common to refer to adult males as boys, particularly the under 30s. That just happens to be the country where the English language originated.

Obviously it's not so common in a formal setting, but is much more common for informal circumstances, such as going for a night out.
I also hear it in use on TV, when pundits are discussing sports. In such circumstances, the use of "men & women" is more common than boys & girls, but both are used.

Also, apologies for including the following image. However, the "Hello Boys" message in the advertisement is not referring to schoolboys. It's referring to young adult males !

Since this is how the English language is used, I'm going to continue using it here. Most Thai bar boys will also be understanding about how the English language is used.
The one time I would really need to pay attention is if learning Thai. Then it's time to follow local custom.





And for one more example of how the language is used, https://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&t ... psQ4dUDCAY

[Gaybutton]

Unless, maybe, you are an American Southern "cracker"

Southern "cracker"? Isn't that a derogatory term . . . ?

[windwalker]

So many times in Thailand I hear , I had the "boy"(electrician) repair my wiring; I had the "boy" (cable technician) connect my Internet; I was at 7/11 and the "boy" (sale clerk) served me; I was at Big C and the "boy" (sales assistant) helped me; I was at the restaurant and the "boy" (waiter) took my order; I was on a flight and I called the boy (flight attendant); and on and on and on. People simply refuse to refer to adult male Thais by their proper names/nomenclature.

Boy oh boy, this tread is getting a lot of attention.