Are you sure? I was under the impression that refers to married couples or very strong relationships. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I've never heard it used any other way.
Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
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Gaybutton
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Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
I must apologize for not realizing the breadth of your polling skills.
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
I'm not really sure. I know I've heard "Fan" used by Thais when they're talking about couples who are in some sort of relationship. It may be intended for married couples and those in strong relationships as you noted, I'm just not sure.
I just looked this up on the internet:
[mii fan léaw] in a relationship
[tàeng ngan léaw] married
[fan] girlfriend/ boyfriend
[fan nùm] boyfriend
[fan săao] girlfriend
NOTE: I can't find a term in the Thai dictionary for "Manfriend"
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Jun
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Firstly, on this board we are mainly non-Thais & holding English discussions. In the UK, the word boy is quite commonly used for males into their 30s and sometimes beyond. The same with the use of "girl" for females. Also, someone in his 70s might occasionally be referred to as an "old boy".
So I'm going to carry on using the term boy.
Secondly, when talking to Thais, I may amend my behaviour if suitable evidence is provided.
Thirdly, this thread is deviating way off topic. Normally I wouldn't mind if it does by page 8, however in this case the original topic was very interesting & it would be a pity to see it killed off by a squabble. Might it be possible to transfer the "boy" topic to a new thread please ?
So I'm going to carry on using the term boy.
Secondly, when talking to Thais, I may amend my behaviour if suitable evidence is provided.
Thirdly, this thread is deviating way off topic. Normally I wouldn't mind if it does by page 8, however in this case the original topic was very interesting & it would be a pity to see it killed off by a squabble. Might it be possible to transfer the "boy" topic to a new thread please ?
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Gaybutton
- Posts: 21582
- Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
- Location: Thailand
- Has thanked: 2 times
- Been thanked: 1320 times
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Good point. I have to plead guilty. Ok, if anyone wants to continue debating about the use of the term "boy," please do so on a new topic. Let's get this topic back to "Finding Mr. Right."
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Remembering Mr. Right - If I'm so Inclined.
I just returned from my first visit to my deceased boyfriend’s village since his death 7 years ago. I had been prolonging this visit for all these years for no other reason than to avoid sorrow, which, admittedly, is selfish on my behalf.
Thep and I had spent two years building a house with the intentions that the lower level would be for his mother, sister, and two younger brothers to live, and upper level for us. The house is located in a small village 7 klms from the town of Kantharalak which sits on the Thai/Cambodian border. Just days after the house was completed, the monks were summoned to perform the house blessing ceremony, followed, almost immediately, by my departure to the U.S. to continue working. Unfortunately, Thep and I never had the chance to spend a night together in the house.
It had been pouring rain for several days before I arrived in Kantharalak forcing me to navigate through mud and deep potholes in the jungle road which leads to the village. I thought I was lost until finally spotting a schoolhouse which sits directly across the street from his grandparents’ house. The school, which used to be bustling with children playing outside and the setting for so many village celebrations, was now deserted and dilapidated. There were a few dehydrated buffalo’s feeding on the tall grass in front of the school and the building itself had been overtaken by the jungle with thick moss covering its walls. A depressing site to say the least.
A few hundred meters more and I saw the house which sent a ripple up my spine. I wasn’t sure if anyone would be awake. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted anyone to be awake. No sooner than I pulled the pickup off the road I saw Thep’s mother and one of her sisters standing almost directly in front of me. When I stepped out of the truck they appeared to be in total shock, and then, without hesitation, Thep’s mom started hugging me and weeping. This went on so long that a few of the neighbors starting drifting our way to see what was happening. Some I recognized, and some I didn’t. We spent the next 4 hours sitting on the bamboo porch in front of the house after being joined by a dozen other friends and family members.
Thep’s mom invited a girl in the village named Noi, who spoke fluent English, to join us. My last recollection of Noi is when she was running around the village barefooted and came up to about my knees, and now she was a full-grown beautiful women. She went on to tell our gathering a story of how I had once removed a centipede from her leg and showed her how to dilute the venom by submersing the wound in hot water, followed by presenting her with an ice cream cone which I told her was necessary for the recovery process. She said I was her hero after that. Without her help as translator I would have been lost.
They wanted to know everything about my life over the past 9 years, as I did theirs. Thep’s mom made phone calls to the father and sister so we could hear each other’s voices. There were similar reactions of shock…weeping…followed by joy. At my request, Thep’s mom retrieved an old box of photo albums I had stored on the second level of the house after I told her that I didn’t have a single picture of Thep or the family, with the exception of those inside the box. This led to two more hours on the bamboo porch looking at the old photo’s and reminiscing. The older women in the group shuffled through the albums as if they were searching for gems, all with the hopes of seeing pictures of themselves when they were much younger. This resulted in a lot of smiles and tons of laughter which was just great.
Near the end of my visit, Noi asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to look around and/or get any of my personal things. I declined the offer and said that I would do this at some point during another visit. She conveyed this to Thep’s mom, who told me with her eyes that she understood my reluctance completely. According to Noi, Thep’s grandmother had placed a string across the stairway which led to the upper level of the house shortly after Thep’s funeral as an indication that other’s should not go up there. I, in turn, said that the upper level should be enjoyed by the whole family. Noi responded by saying, “No, that place is for you and Thep”. As I alluded to earlier in this thread, in Buddhism, there is no separation between the material world and the spiritual world, and the spirits of those who have gone on to their next life dwell amongst them. I have nothing more to add regarding these beliefs, other than to say that “memories” certainly never die.
From the minute I entered the village I had this overwhelming feeling of “love” which is difficult, if not impossible for me to describe. None of the fears or apprehensions I had regarding sadness ever entered the picture. I saw Thep’s smile around every turn…remembered only the good times…and felt a thousand pounds lighter when I returned home after the visit. Thep’s grandmother passed away last year, but his grandfather, who just turned 96, was standing in his garden as I always remembered him. I don’t know if he knew who was waving to him, but he seemed to hesitate in his movements for a brief moment, and then turned around and smiled as I drove away.
I plan to return in November to celebrate Loy Krathong and will take Jay along with me this time. I’ve been telling him about the waterfalls in neighboring Khun Han for years, and it’s about time we had a little splish splash together at the base of the falls. It’s what dreams are made of.
I just returned from my first visit to my deceased boyfriend’s village since his death 7 years ago. I had been prolonging this visit for all these years for no other reason than to avoid sorrow, which, admittedly, is selfish on my behalf.
Thep and I had spent two years building a house with the intentions that the lower level would be for his mother, sister, and two younger brothers to live, and upper level for us. The house is located in a small village 7 klms from the town of Kantharalak which sits on the Thai/Cambodian border. Just days after the house was completed, the monks were summoned to perform the house blessing ceremony, followed, almost immediately, by my departure to the U.S. to continue working. Unfortunately, Thep and I never had the chance to spend a night together in the house.
It had been pouring rain for several days before I arrived in Kantharalak forcing me to navigate through mud and deep potholes in the jungle road which leads to the village. I thought I was lost until finally spotting a schoolhouse which sits directly across the street from his grandparents’ house. The school, which used to be bustling with children playing outside and the setting for so many village celebrations, was now deserted and dilapidated. There were a few dehydrated buffalo’s feeding on the tall grass in front of the school and the building itself had been overtaken by the jungle with thick moss covering its walls. A depressing site to say the least.
A few hundred meters more and I saw the house which sent a ripple up my spine. I wasn’t sure if anyone would be awake. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted anyone to be awake. No sooner than I pulled the pickup off the road I saw Thep’s mother and one of her sisters standing almost directly in front of me. When I stepped out of the truck they appeared to be in total shock, and then, without hesitation, Thep’s mom started hugging me and weeping. This went on so long that a few of the neighbors starting drifting our way to see what was happening. Some I recognized, and some I didn’t. We spent the next 4 hours sitting on the bamboo porch in front of the house after being joined by a dozen other friends and family members.
Thep’s mom invited a girl in the village named Noi, who spoke fluent English, to join us. My last recollection of Noi is when she was running around the village barefooted and came up to about my knees, and now she was a full-grown beautiful women. She went on to tell our gathering a story of how I had once removed a centipede from her leg and showed her how to dilute the venom by submersing the wound in hot water, followed by presenting her with an ice cream cone which I told her was necessary for the recovery process. She said I was her hero after that. Without her help as translator I would have been lost.
They wanted to know everything about my life over the past 9 years, as I did theirs. Thep’s mom made phone calls to the father and sister so we could hear each other’s voices. There were similar reactions of shock…weeping…followed by joy. At my request, Thep’s mom retrieved an old box of photo albums I had stored on the second level of the house after I told her that I didn’t have a single picture of Thep or the family, with the exception of those inside the box. This led to two more hours on the bamboo porch looking at the old photo’s and reminiscing. The older women in the group shuffled through the albums as if they were searching for gems, all with the hopes of seeing pictures of themselves when they were much younger. This resulted in a lot of smiles and tons of laughter which was just great.
Near the end of my visit, Noi asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to look around and/or get any of my personal things. I declined the offer and said that I would do this at some point during another visit. She conveyed this to Thep’s mom, who told me with her eyes that she understood my reluctance completely. According to Noi, Thep’s grandmother had placed a string across the stairway which led to the upper level of the house shortly after Thep’s funeral as an indication that other’s should not go up there. I, in turn, said that the upper level should be enjoyed by the whole family. Noi responded by saying, “No, that place is for you and Thep”. As I alluded to earlier in this thread, in Buddhism, there is no separation between the material world and the spiritual world, and the spirits of those who have gone on to their next life dwell amongst them. I have nothing more to add regarding these beliefs, other than to say that “memories” certainly never die.
From the minute I entered the village I had this overwhelming feeling of “love” which is difficult, if not impossible for me to describe. None of the fears or apprehensions I had regarding sadness ever entered the picture. I saw Thep’s smile around every turn…remembered only the good times…and felt a thousand pounds lighter when I returned home after the visit. Thep’s grandmother passed away last year, but his grandfather, who just turned 96, was standing in his garden as I always remembered him. I don’t know if he knew who was waving to him, but he seemed to hesitate in his movements for a brief moment, and then turned around and smiled as I drove away.
I plan to return in November to celebrate Loy Krathong and will take Jay along with me this time. I’ve been telling him about the waterfalls in neighboring Khun Han for years, and it’s about time we had a little splish splash together at the base of the falls. It’s what dreams are made of.
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Dodger,
Thanks for sharing the beautifully written stories about your life in Thailand! Bravo!
Thanks for sharing the beautifully written stories about your life in Thailand! Bravo!
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belg0001
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
if that is not a love story, then I don't know what love is …..
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Yes, but many Thais I know have a secular approach to life, They do not take their Buddhism too seriously, even though they will arrange Buddhist funerals and ceremonies for their deceased loved ones.
Re: Finding Mr. Right - If You're So Inclined
Our opinions seem to differ a bit on this.
I haven't interacted with too many Thais (on any social level) where indications of their spiritual beliefs (Buddhism) were not evident. Not just the ghost sightings, patronage to spirit houses, and sprinkling of water on little statues, but in all their actions.
I see the "Values" shown below displayed by the vast majority of Thais. These values directly align with the precepts of Buddhism which they are taught from birth, and are deeply ingrained:
Family first. ...
Sufficient is enough. ...
Keep your cool. ...
Wear your smile. ...
No worries. ...
Inject some fun. ...
Respect yourself and others. ...
Generosity and hospitality .
I know, for me anyway, understanding what makes them tick helps in communicating with HIM in so many ways. Those unanswered questions about "Why" they do the things they do, seem to be clearer.
Example: Why are they so irresponsible when it comes to planning their futures? (Sufficient is enough)