Bits and pieces from Pattaya Mail

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Bits and pieces from Pattaya Mail

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Pattaya Prowl: No Vacancies

By Pattaya Mail

November 27, 2022

֍ A year ago, Pattaya’s Walking Street was a mass of for sale and for rent signs. In December 2022 you’ll have trouble finding even one, although the side streets are admittedly less popular. Now that the tills are ringing merrily, expect soon to hear once again about illegal structures jutting into the sea, overhead signs preventing access by fire engines and the threat to pull down the lot. It’s all been going on since 1972.

֍ Sniffer dogs, known as Inspector Beagles, are on duty at Thai airports to intercept smoked bats in luggage. Apparently they are a delicacy.

֍ Wonderfruit music festival, Thailand’s favorite, is back in Pattaya 15-18 December. It’s the first time since the covid pandemic struck.

֍ The cashless society hasn’t yet taken off in Pattaya. A coffee shop on Second Road suggests payment by app but still maintains a tin box for the tips. Oh well.

֍ He’s not balding. That’s follicle regression you see.

֍ On steak restaurants, the nearest you’ll find to New York in Pattaya might well be the T55 New York Grill in the Movenpick Siam at Na Jomtien.

֍ One clue to old age is that your teeth and you don’t sleep together. Another is when you come to the conclusion that weight lifting is the same as standing up.

֍ Pattaya locals are asking what’s the point in having several choices of cinema multiplexes when they are all showing the same movie.

֍ Sexy Soi 6 gets busier every week. The innovative names of some bars and clubs remind customers they are in a religious zone. They include Repent and Where Angels Play.

֍ Uzbec and Nigerian prostitutes are back on the Beach Road. Not as many as before the pandemic, but noticeable. Oh well.

֍ According to a local sports commentator, baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical. (Correction from GB: Actually it was Yogi Berra who said that.)

֍ The main drag on the high season is the lack of staff to deal with the arriving crowds at Bangkok airports. It’s not only immigration officers, but taxi drivers, baggage handlers and the rest in short supply.

֍ Forbes magazine reports that 30 percent of tourists are interested in cannabis-related products. The weed is no longer the domain of just hippies and potheads. It’s mainstream.

֍ When you come to a fork in the road, take it. Could you repeat that please? (GB: Also Yogi Berra)

֍ Perhaps Pattaya could follow the lead of Las Vegas where alcohol and cannabis can’t be served in the same establishment. Many customers here can’t stand the stench in the bars.

֍ Dolce Vita at the Jomtien Complex offers really good buffets most nights for around 260 baht. Some people eat there every night.

֍ A reader asks where he can rent safety boxes for mail in the Pattaya area. Go to siamsecure.co.th Starts at 375 baht monthly.

֍ You know there’s a problem when you know all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.

֍ More than 2,300 journalists covered the APEC conference in Bangkok last month. Pattaya Prowl never even got an invite.

֍ It’s sad when you admit your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

֍ What could be worse than finding a porn movie in your son’s bedroom? Finding out that you’re in it.

֍ A police report said the cause of a nightclub fire was a faulty electrical circuit, but added that the cause of the conflagration was not known. Again please?

֍ Cannabis flowers are now a controlled substance after an official announcement in the Government Gazette. The difference that has made to weed consumption in Pattaya is ….. zero!

֍ There’s a scam going on in some Pattaya restaurants. You ask for the computerized bill which is given to you. The server then notices an item has been accidentally missed, apologizes and asks you to pay the extra. The extra then goes into the pockets of the staff.

֍ Lots of online advertising now from Lazada and Shopee suggesting you can buy now and pay later or by installments. Obviously, the promotions are aimed at Thai customers, but can foreigners here take advantage? It’s not crystal clear.

Happy Hunting!

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Pattaya Prowl: Xmas then and now

By Pattaya Mail

December 6, 2022

Christmas 30 years ago in Pattaya was a rather plain affair. Festive dinners were difficult to organize as nobody locally was selling frozen turkeys, whilst the journey from Bangkok could take 5 hours just one way. And Brussels sprouts? You might as well have asked for a hippopotamus steak with your chips. Outside the big hotels, air conditioning was a rarity and any malfunction meant puzzled looks and indefinite delays. The biggest event of Christmas Day 1992 was the arrival of fresh milk in Spinney’s supermarket on the Second Road which led to a virtual siege of the place. And mobile phones? Forget that idea unless you had a work permit and a brown envelope.

֎ It’s official, or sort of. Russians now outnumber Indians on vacation in Pattaya city. Daily charter flights to U-tapao from several Russian cities explain it. Indians prefer to eat in Indian restaurants, but Russians don’t care as long as the menu is in Russian.

֎ If you see a notice to pay placed under your car windscreen, don’t assume it’s a fake or a scam. Pattaya police are now using portable computers to issue tickets for traffic violations. Merry Christmas everyone.

֎ A total of 73 Pattaya bars, clubs and hangouts have been raided over the past month. Typical offences have been underage drinking, drugs and not closing by 2 a.m. Police say the ongoing battle to uphold the law will continue over the festive season.

֎ Live auction at Pattaya’s first and best auction house, Collingbourne’s, every Saturday at 11.00 am. Check their website for more details.

֎ If I was two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Variously attributed to Abraham Lincoln, Margaret Thatcher and Kim Jong-un.

֎ Good reports from Welcome Inn, Mabprachan Lake. Try their nice-n-spicy daily curries from 275 baht.

֎ Still on Indian food, good value at the Friday evening buffet of Bangsaray Beach Club. Still only 350 baht, all in.

֎ Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

֎ The Saturday evening cabaret at M2M, in Jomtien’s gay Complex Supertown, is professional, colorful and very popular.

֎ A Thai lady has told police her foreign husband died because he had placed too many oxygen-devouring plants in the bedroom. An autopsy has been ordered.

֎ Yupins, Jomtien Complex, have an exquisite Christmas dinner this year for 995 baht. All the details are at www.yupins.com

֎ When all is said and done about plastic surgery, the cheapest way to improve your facial features is to smile.

֎ Readers often ask where they donate not-needed clothes and household items in the Pattaya area. Check out Inezfoundation on Facebook. Reputable locally-based charity.

֎ Good boys go to heaven, bald guys to Pattaya.

֎ I don’t mind in what language opera is sung as long as it’s not mine.

֎ If you’re a Bingo lover, At Home Bar in Jomtien Complex has a Wednesday night session at 8 pm. There are jackpots to be won for a line or a full house.

֎ A reader asks if a disabled American can renew his passport by mail. Yes and no need to be disabled. Check out citizen services on the US embassy website.

֎ A Hungarian tourist picked up a street walker who, mid-session in a hotel room, went to the toilet. The European then realized the she was a he as the toilet seat creaked as it was lifted.

֎ Amongst the elderly UK expats living in Pattaya are dubious guys who claim variously to be the grandson of hangman Albert Pierrepoint, to have seen the Loch Ness monster twice and to have shaken hands with Adolf Hitler at least once. Nuff said.

֎ According to the immigration website, you can buy Cambodian citizenship by making a donation of US$300,000. Just saying.

Happy Hunting!

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By Pattaya Mail

December 25, 2022
_________________

Christmas 30 years ago in Pattaya was a rather plain affair. Festive dinners were difficult to organize as nobody locally was selling frozen turkeys, whilst the journey from Bangkok could take 5 hours just one way. And Brussels sprouts? You might as well have asked for a hippopotamus steak with your chips. Outside the big hotels, air conditioning was a rarity and any malfunction meant puzzled looks and indefinite delays. The biggest event of Christmas Day 1992 was the arrival of fresh milk in Spinney’s supermarket on the Second Road which led to a virtual siege of the place. And mobile phones? Forget that idea unless you had a work permit and a brown envelope.

֎ It’s official, or sort of. Russians now outnumber Indians on vacation in Pattaya city. Daily charter flights to U-tapao from several Russian cities explain it. Indians prefer to eat in Indian restaurants, but Russians don’t care as long as the menu is in Russian.

֎ If you see a notice to pay placed under your car windscreen, don’t assume it’s a fake or a scam. Pattaya police are now using portable computers to issue tickets for traffic violations. Merry Christmas everyone.

֎ A total of 73 Pattaya bars, clubs and hangouts have been raided over the past month. Typical offences have been underage drinking, drugs and not closing by 2 a.m. Police say the ongoing battle to uphold the law will continue over the festive season.

֎ Live auction at Pattaya’s first and best auction house, Collingbourne’s, every Saturday at 11.00 am. Check their website for more details.

֎ If I was two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Variously attributed to Abraham Lincoln, Margaret Thatcher and Kim Jong-un.

֎ Good reports from Welcome Inn, Mabprachan Lake. Try their nice-n-spicy daily curries from 275 baht.

֎ Still on Indian food, good value at the Friday evening buffet of Bangsaray Beach Club. Still only 350 baht, all in.

֎ Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

֎ The Saturday evening cabaret at M2M, in Jomtien’s gay Complex Supertown, is professional, colorful and very popular.

֎ A Thai lady has told police her foreign husband died because he had placed too many oxygen-devouring plants in the bedroom. An autopsy has been ordered.

֎ Yupins, Jomtien Complex, have an exquisite Christmas dinner this year for 995 baht. All the details are at www.yupins.com (GB: If they are doing a special Christmas dinner, I don't see it on their web site. I see only the regular menus.)

֎ When all is said and done about plastic surgery, the cheapest way to improve your facial features is to smile.

֎ Readers often ask where they donate not-needed clothes and household items in the Pattaya area. Check out Inezfoundation on Facebook. Reputable locally-based charity.

֎ Good boys go to heaven, bald guys to Pattaya.

֎ I don’t mind in what language opera is sung as long as it’s not mine.

֎ If you’re a Bingo lover, At Home Bar in Jomtien Complex has a Wednesday night session at 8 pm. There are jackpots to be won for a line or a full house.

֎ A reader asks if a disabled American can renew his passport by mail. Yes and no need to be disabled. Check out citizen services on the US embassy website.

֎ A Hungarian tourist picked up a street walker who, mid-session in a hotel room, went to the toilet. The European then realized the she was a he as the toilet seat creaked as it was lifted.

֎ Amongst the elderly UK expats living in Pattaya are dubious guys who claim variously to be the grandson of hangman Albert Pierrepoint, to have seen the Loch Ness monster twice and to have shaken hands with Adolf Hitler at least once. Nuff said.

֎ According to the immigration website, you can buy Cambodian citizenship by making a donation of US$300,000. Just saying.

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Pattaya Mail

January 16, 2023
_______________

Those opposing the establishment of legal casinos in Thailand will have their say for the next year or so. Nothing new on the subject can or will be heard. A major betting firm in UK is offering even money on a start up by December 31 2024. Casinos are certainly coming to Thailand, but that time scale is likely too short. Pattaya will surely be a prime site, but the rumor is that it’ll need to be built from scratch and be a mixed use venue – five star hotel, restaurants, shopping arcade, family entertainment. Not just gambling. If you know Cambodia’s premier casino in Phnom Penh you’ll get the general idea.

֎ Fewer Indian tourists are arriving in Pattaya after the Indian government’s decision to require every air passenger to have a negative RT-PCR test before boarding their flight home. New Delhi authorities say they are worried about new covid outbreaks happening in Thailand.

֎ The imminent arrival of the Chinese is encouraging even more people in Pattaya to wear face masks just in case. There are reports of even the pole dancers in Walking Street wearing them on stage.

֎ Beefeater on Second Road has an all you can eat Mexican buffet for 345 baht on Saturdays and Sundays, noon to 16.00 hours. The reports are good.

֎ At certain times I like sex, like after a cigarette (Woody Allen).

֎ For the stargazers. There’s a newly discovered comet visible in Thailand on February 1 and the following night. Depending on the brightness, you might see with the naked eye or need binoculars.

֎ A reader asks where you go in Pattaya to relive the past, as Sin City used to be. The best bets are Soi Buakhao and L.K. Metro. But don’t expect 1993 prices.

֎ Not all parts of the resort have yet recovered from the pandemic. Soi 8 in Pattaya still has some blank spots whilst the long street of bars by Jomtien’s Rompho market isn’t yet up to speed.

֎ Thai tourist authorities say they are looking forward to 80 million tourists per year by 2027. What happened to the argument that we need quality not quantity?

֎ Walking Street is doing well, but there’s a huge range of prices in the clubs. Off fees vary from 1,000 baht to 3,000 baht and some gin palaces insist on your spending a minimum amount before you can book out a lady. Look before you leap.

֎ Bruno’s on Jomtien’s Thappraya Road is back with a number of special offers. There’s a 2 for the price of 1 Monday evening menu which is well worthy of examination.

֎ Seen in a translation book. “I’m going for an interview tomorrow as a managing director.” The reply, “Won’t you have to learn to read and write for that?”

֎ Pattaya Songkran this year will run from April 12-19 inclusive. If you have hopes water throwing will be restricted as in the coronavirus era, well … sorry!

֎ Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, there’s a Christian event in Pattaya billed for February 25-26. It’s entitled The Supernatural Life in Pattaya and admission is free. Of course it would be.

֎ What, after all, is a halo? It’s only one more thing to keep clean (Christopher Fry).

֎ Satisfied reports about the Sunday BBQ at Dolce Vita in Jomtien Complex: chicken drumsticks, six salads, fresh baked potatoes and much more. 320 baht.

֎ The Thailand Honda LPGA (golf) is back. Held at the old course Siam Country Club from February 23-26. Full details on the internet.

֎ What happens when the human body is completely immersed in water? The telephone rings. Of course.

֎ The UnKonscious Festival will be held in Pattaya from February 7 to 12. It’s the biggest beach trace festival in Asia.

֎ The Thai Garden Resort international dinner buffet, 499 baht, features musical performances by Barry Upton and Coco Zhu every Saturday evening. Book in advance 038 370 614.

֎ You need a 45 or 60 or 90 days visa to do the one day visa run to the Cambodian border. Those with a 30 days visa-on-arrival (China and India for example) are not eligible.

֎ The silliest weight-reducing diet in history was waving away the dessert trolley on the Titanic.

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Pattaya Prowl: Is Pattaya full?

By Pattaya Mail

March 13, 2023

As the world forgets Covid, Pattaya hotels are apparently 80 percent full. To judge from the traffic at weekends in particular, it seems like 150 percent. Pattaya smog is obviously exhaust-related and not connected with burning rubbish or forest fires. Meanwhile the Tourist Authority of Thailand wants to double the number of overseas tourists in 2019 (40 million) to around 80 million by 2030. Koh Larn is so busy some days that there’s a limit on the number of boat passengers over there. Hotels and hostelries are crying out for more staff.

The expanded U-tapao airport, near Rayong, is now hosting thousands of new passengers every day and many (if not most) seem to be heading for Pattaya. The queues at Jomtien immigration can be offputting to say the least, whilst it takes a month or so to arrange the renewal of your driving licence at Land Transportation. The number of new Pattaya bank accounts being opened by foreigners is growing so fast that one manager half-jokingly suggested that Thais might be in the minority soon. It’s great to see Pattaya doing so well, but who is monitoring the consequences?


֎ A notice on a Pattaya massage shop says no service available for customers with blood pressure, heart trouble or prostate problems. Must rule out almost all the local expats.

֎ The Hollywood bar, Soi 6, has a warning that smoking or drinking at the pool table will cost you one horn pull. Horns are noisy but are whistles and bells any less so?

֎ Government figures say inflation is now hovering modestly around 3 percent per year. Has anyone yet told the good news to supermarkets and restaurants?

֎ A lot of comments received about lady gogo dancers with tattoos beginning to appear in the clubs. Is that a turn-off? Most punters say yes.

֎ Sex hasn’t been the same since women starting enjoying it. That’s according to the US grump Lewis Grizzard.

֎ Need extra large shirts or trousers? Try Nuanjan Shop in front of Avenue Mall, Second Road. They don’t come any bigger.

֎ Boyztown on Second Road promotes choices: left or right, cabaret or male show, cool beer or a Coke, Thai food or farang. The shows begin nightly at around 10.30 pm.

֎ Thailand spent a total of 444 billion baht to counter the coronavirus over the past three years. Let’s hope there isn’t another outbreak.

֎ George Burns said it was hard for him to get used to changing times. He remembered when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

֎ Heard in a restaurant. I’ve been married so long, I’m on my third bottle of Tabasco.

֎ By the end of the expanding year there’ll be no fewer than 242 McDonalds’ cafes in Thailand. Now you know tourism really is rebounding.

֎ There are already 300 retail outlets or cannabis products in Pattaya alone. How many of them are actually making a profit?

֎ Job vacancies all over Pattaya. So many businesses are crying out for staff including Outlook Mall which has taken to advertising on Facebook.

֎ A reader asks where to find Persian cuisine in Pattaya. Try Cafe Le Mar on Beach Road (next to Cetus).

֎ Exotica Bar on Sexy Soi 6 is holding a School Girl Party on Friday 17 March, starting 3 pm. School is out early it seems.

֎ The lack of rain must be becoming a serious issue. The cloud seeders are out in force again.

֎ Ben’s Theater Jomtien presents Here is Iris, a Dutch comedian show, on Sunday March 19. Tickets 700 baht by email.

֎ Horseshoe Point is holding a cricket march on Sunday 19 March at 13.00. ICC versus Marine CC.

֎ Rolling Loud, the American hip-hop music festival, premieres its first Asian offshoot April 13-15 at Legend Siam theme park.

֎ Zsa Zsa Gabor said she was a housewife because she always got the house in her divorce settlements.

֎ Should Facebook ban all photographs of what you have eaten (or intend to eat) for breakfast? Worth thinking about.

֎ What’s the point in restaurants providing extra toasts when you are so mingy with the butter and jam?
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Pattaya Prowl: Pattaya’s future

By Pattaya Mail

March 27, 2023

Here’s a prediction from a recent Stickman’s Bangkok internet column. “I think the development of the tech city near Pattaya and the proposed high-speed rail link to Bangkok will dictate the future of Sin City. Pattaya may find itself becoming a commuter town and all the seafront and prime areas will be in demand to cater for professionals. Naturally, the displacement of bar areas nearby will move them to more outlying areas as new residents seek a higher standard of amenities.” Food for thought there.

֎ Watch out for total bar closures on the weekends of May 7 (advance voting) and May 14 (election day). Alcohol may be banned for two consecutive weekends from Saturday 6 pm until midnight Sunday some 30 hours later. Twice in a row, though no announcements yet.

֎ Unusual exhibition of cultural heritage to be held in Pattaya beach area April 1 and 2. Lots of music festival-style organized by the Ministry of Culture.

֎ Outsize shirts and pants for men? Check out the clothes units in Made in Thailand on Second Road. Just wander round and ask. You’ll save a lot of money with a little research.

֎ 808 Nightclub on Walking Street is well worth a visit if you are energetic. Located above Candy Shop, it has unusual corridors lined with mirrors and a lively dance floor For the less playful, there’s a terrace lounge with TV screens showing live sports.

֎ Could take longer to order a new British passport via the embassy in Bangkok. Talk of strikes in UK. Remember you can renew whenever you like and as often – just keep paying the fees. No need to wait until the thing is nearly expired.

֎ I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

֎ Down at Made in Thailand, there’s the prospect of the reopening of the bar complex which was demolished during Covid. Next October could see the revival.

֎ Average economy price of a return ticket from UK to Bangkok seems to be settling at near 1,000 pounds or 42,000 baht. The Middle East airlines may have the best deals. But it’s a rapidly changing scenario.

֎ Glorious Tuesday buffet at the Hilton Edge restaurant for 650 baht. The theme is Mediterranean Classics. Very classy.

֎ I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt her. (Ken Dodd)

֎ What’s the tallest building on Pattaya’s beach road? It’s the elegant Hilton Pattaya Hotel. Now you have the answer if the question crops up at the pub quiz.

֎ Castro bar in Boyztown has colorful feathers, lots of sequins and a frenetic cabaret show. Prime example of how the Pattaya gay scene has developed.

֎ City Hall needs to look again at the decision to close off the entrance to Walking Street at night. The idea was to ban food carts and motorbike taxis, but they have also denied access to wheelchair tourists of whom there are many.

֎ Phuket is enjoying a boom with luxury villas and condos sold out. Is Pattaya next on the list?

֎ The English Breakfast Society says hash browns should not be part of the good old English breakfast. American trash it seems.

֎ What is a promiscuous person? It’s someone who is getting more sex than you are.

֎ Anyone who opens a bank account or registers a SIM card for somebody else now faces fines and jail if there is an intent to commit a crime. Last week, many Pattaya banks reported customers closing accounts rather than opening them. Mule accounts they are called.

֎ Repairs to Thepprasit Road now scheduled to be completed by the end of May. City Hall blames the electricity company which says the waterworks people must take the responsibility. Someone should tell the trio to work together. Agreed?

֎ Is it just me, or is Walking Street becoming more and more Asian, whilst Europeans are flocking to Soi Buakhao? Just wondering.

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Sorry we’re closed!

Pattaya internet sites these days are crowded with information about where to have a good time, which are the best restaurants in the city or treating yourself to a champagne dinner on a lemonade budget. Some of the info is informative and up-to-date. But not all by any means. A lot of bloggers seem content to reprint what somebody else has written long, long ago.

This week, we noticed that Mata Hari and the Manhattan steak house, restaurants which closed years ago, are still being recommended by keyboard warriors in April 2023. Another example is the long-shuttered Simon’s fish and chips in Jomtien, as well as several bars in the now largely-empty Sunee Plaza. Prices are sometimes out of date too. One site tells us that the price of a ticket to the Tiffany cabaret show is 500 baht. Where have you been in the last 10 years mate?

֎ Sex over 40 can be exciting. You never know whether it’s an orgasm, a stroke or just a cramp. (From Pattaya News Flash).

֎ For the record, Wednesday 19 April is Pattaya’s special water-throwing day. But it’s not a public holiday and immigration is open 8.30-4.30. If you fancy making the trip.

֎ U-tapao airport, near Rayong, now hosts many more domestic and international flights, yet there’s no organized bus service to Pattaya or anywhere else. Taxi drivers are charging between 850 baht and 2,000 baht for the 35 km journey to Fun City. Ugh!

֎ If you want to renew your driving licence, the passport number printed on it must match the actual passport you present. If the numbers are different, no can do. Never throw away your old passport as you never know when it might be needed.

֎ Las Vegas go go club is now open on Soi L.K.Metro. Was formerly Kilkenny bar and restaurant. Good reports coming in.

֎ The main purpose of legal cannabis, we are told, is for medicinal purposes. However, the names of many of the outlets suggest otherwise. Blow Your Mind or Upstairs Bliss don’t exactly conjure up images of getting a good night’s sleep with your arthritis pains.

֎ Happiness bar in Soi Lengkee Two looks to have had a facelift and a new interior. Take a peep soon.

֎ Is Walking Street turning into an Asians-only zone? Some say that the bars prefer Asian men, especially South Koreans, as they spend more in an evening. The economical Brits are being pushed into the slightly-cheaper Soi Buakhao and L.K. Metro area.

֎ In the past 11 years, 115 people have died in weightlifting accidents in the gym, whilst only one actually died whilst eating a donut. Best to eat a donut. (From Pattaya News Flash).

֎ There’s a new cat and dog pets’ hotel on Central Road, opposite Ali Baba restaurant near Beach Road. No reports yet.

֎ Churchill’s Munchies expat food on Soi Buakhao has closed, but is being built as a bar under new management. Munchies’ prices were very reasonable.

֎ In case the question comes up at the quiz, Alcazar cabaret show opened in November 1981 when it had a much smaller auditorium. Now you know.

֎ Overheard in a pub: I went skiing last week and broke a leg. Fortunately it wasn’t mine.

֎ Amongst the more colorful April Fool jokes this year: the Thai government will recriminalize pot on April 15 and driving license for foreigners will be limited to annual renewals from now on.

֎ Cannabis for recreation is an important issue in Pattaya for the upcoming general election. Those who have invested heavily in renovating “dispensaries” for “medical use” won’t want to see their cash disappear if the pot becomes an illegal narcotic again. Agreed?

֎ Crazy Horse bar on Soi Khao Noi has great international live music every Saturday and Sunday 8-11 pm. Take a look by all means.

֎ Some locals are saying cheap tonic water is hard to get in several supermarkets. Schweppes is the main brand. The alternative, genuine Indian tonics are more than double the price and much smaller.

֎ The highest temperature recorded in the local area was 49.4 at Laem Chabang port last week. Pattaya rarely gets past 40 although it often feels like 50. Not to mention the daily smog count which is many times higher than the daytime recommended limits. Is it down to burning rubbish or traffic fumes or neither? You judge.

֎ From Pattaya’s favorite radio station. A man said he felt so much better after he gave away to a poor guy 5,000 baht. Especially when the guy put the knife away.

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Lots of complaints out of Phuket (in particular) and Pattaya about Russian tourists and longstayers getting a bad name for drunkenness, violence and drug smuggling. Not to mention locals complaining that some of them are even working illegally in massage parlors or as taxi drivers. Apparently, Russians like to be served by people who speak the language. Another attraction is that Phuket has very few Ukrainians.

The more affluent Russians, including draft dodgers, are taking up the offer of 5 year visas for a one-off cash payment of 600,000 baht. These guys and gals are here for the long haul. Given that Russians face entry hurdles obtaining entry to many countries, the Thai surge is to be expected. There are already rumors that Thailand’s new coalition government (if allowed to take office) will be taking a harder look at immigration policy.

֎ It’s official. The Move Forward Party, favorites to run the new government, will relist cannabis as a narcotic. Does this mean that thousands of retail outlet will close? Not necessarily.

֎ The Sizzler bar in Pattaya’s Royal Garden has a great salad selection for 199 baht (149 baht with membership) with some new dishes introduced recently. Go see.

֎ Souled Out, the best of Northern Motown Soul, is back at the popular Caddy Shack on June 24. Their Sunday roasts are good too.

֎ Bubu’s Tuesday quiz night in the gay Jomtien Complex held its last question setting on May 23. The break will last several weeks we hear.

֎ We like Hemingway’s Ploughman lunch every Thursday at 240 baht. It’s a UK idea which was first promoted by the Milk Marketing Board in the 1960s to boost national cheese sales. Also contains cold meat, bread, pickles and more.

֎ I’m dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. (Garry Shandling).

֎ If I’m not in bed by midnight, I’m going home. (Night club customer).

֎ The Mix Discotech on Walking Street has happy hour 22.00-24.00 as an attraction for the Beach Vibes Wednesday Party.

֎ In answer to a query, Alcazar has four shows nightly 5.00, 6.30, 8.00, 9.30 pm. Now you know.

֎ The sacred oxen prophesied recently on the annual ploughing ceremony that Thailand will have plentiful crops and rain. Was there ever a year when these pampered animals predicted otherwise?

֎ Pattaya Wine Club is best contacted through their Facebook group page.

֎ There will be 7,000 flights bringing Chinese visitors during July, August and September. If that seems a lot, it’s 50 percent lower than in pre-pandemic 2019.

֎ Pattaya’s new MP is Yodchai Puengporn from the Move Forward Party. He wants Sin City to be a 24-hour place when it comes to licensing laws. Been said before.

֎ Pattaya Marathon is the weekend of 22-23 July. Up to 15,000 runners expected on a variety of routes. Ages last year ranged from four years to 89.

֎ If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. (Quentin Crisp).

֎ I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. (Bill Cosby).

֎ Pattaya Gay Festival is June 23/24 with concerts, parades and music to suit all tastes. Come one come all.

֎ Are Pattaya weed shops making a profit? Many certainly look empty.

֎ On the gogo front in Pattaya, some are opening and some are closing. A recent new arrival is Coke A Gogo in Soi Diamond.

֎ We’ve been asked to say that Crazy Run Girls is back in business. A promise kept.

֎ History is a pack of lies about events that never happened, told by people who weren’t there. (Failed history graduate).

֎ There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says “yes”, you know he’s a crook. (Groucho Marx).

֎ Immigration: people often ask how much is a one year visa extension in Thailand. The answer is 1,900 baht without exception. Assuming, that is, you have all the right paperwork. Sometimes a big “if” eh?

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Pattaya Prowl: Hooting Hooters

By Pattaya Mail

June 8, 2023

The closure of the long-established Hooters (literal meaning Female Breasts) on Pattaya’s Beach Road has set a record for loves and hates on local social media. Hundreds of apparent past customers tabled their appreciation – good quality food, fair prices, friendly staff, attractive young ladies, cold beer, generous spirit measures. And so on. But they were outnumbered by even more savage critics claiming the very opposite: total rip-off, inedible chicken wings, warm beer and all the rest. Mind you, several bloggers did admit they had never entered the premises. It’s all part of the fun of media today. And artificial intelligence hasn’t really got going yet.

But what’s easy to forget is that Hooters isn’t alone. Whilst clubs continue to open on Walking Street and L.K. Metro, others close down. Whole districts, which used to house numerous gin palaces, have disappeared especially in North Pattaya where it’s hard to find a cheap drinking house in some streets. Once thriving beer halls, for example in Sunee Plaza, are now virtual bomb sites. Beyond alcohol, Baan and Beyond, a first-rate home appliance store, is having a closing-down sale whilst a nearby supermarket is rumored to be on its last legs. Like it or hate it, Pattaya is changing faster and faster.

As the numbers of Asian visitors rise – almost half of them are women – the crowds of traditional Caucasians from UK and Germany in particular are declining year by year. The retiree expats still here, mostly in their 70s and above, are not being replaced as they make the inevitable journey to the crematorium. Walking Street is no longer angled at Europeans as can be seen from the neon signs. The last stand is being made in and around Soi Buakhao. But will even that survive into the next decade?

֎ We hear that the attractions of Boyztown and the Jomtien Complex, the Pattaya gay meccas, are now mostly cabaret shows and chatting in the various venues. “Not like they used to be,” according to some old hands.

֎ It’s a good job Phillip Schofield didn’t have a session with a 20 year old in Pattaya. Just imagine the publicity in the British media.

֎ Pattaya weather forecasts are a total waste of time. Time and again the prediction is rain and, next morning, there isn’t a cloud in the sky.

֎ The Pattaya mayor says the cumbersome roadworks in the city center won’t be finished any time soon. August has been suggested, but which year is up for grabs.

֎ Apparently the reason for the roadwork delays is “older construction” which has delayed the installation of new pipes and drainage. Two months ago, the stated problem was that the gas, water and electricity people were not cooperating.

֎ Sex and politics are a lot alike. You don’t have to be good at them to join in.” (Barry Goldwater)

֎ The best temperature for tea is two degrees hotter than just right. Agreed?

֎ The trouble with dark room orgies is you never know whom to thank on leaving.

֎ Cheap Charlie’s, based on Soi Buakhao and Jomtien soi 5, now offer a discount or privilege card for frequent diners. But you don’t have to be a Cheap Charlie to eat there. Good marketing on the local radio.

֎ Pattaya traffic is now horrendous. Some blame the Russians who can’t wait to get behind the wheel.

֎ Life is a moderately good play with a badly written final act. (Truman Capote). He’d be likely to know of course.

֎ Did Beethoven look like a musician? No of course she didn’t. (Tony Hancock).

֎ Thailand is one of those countries where the prime minister can be chosen irrespective of the actual voting outcome.

֎ We like The Shack at the Marina Yacht Club. The largest food truck in Thailand serving American BBQ, Tex Mex, Meatloaf, Ruebens etc.

֎ Humans invented the atom bomb, but no mouse in the world would invent a mousetrap. (Albert Einstein).

֎ Don’t wait until your tourist visa is nearly dead before you apply for a retirement extension of stay. Immigration needs two to three weeks to grant it, assuming you have the paperwork.

֎ On compulsory medical insurance, you don’t need it for the 5-20 years Elite visa but you do for the 10-year Long Term Residence visa.

֎ Thailand is the third most popular country in the world for digital nomads. Maybe because they can evidently operate here without needing special visas.

֎ A Kuwaiti guy rang the bell in a Pattaya bar without knowing what it meant. He then refused to pay the exorbitant bill. But didn’t we read months ago the men in brown had ordered the practice to stop?

֎ A Chinese restaurant has been forced to display a notice, “We have an all-day buffet but this does not mean you can remain all day eating. Please eat your fill once and go home.”

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Pattaya Prowl: Road repair blues

By Pattaya Mail

June 18, 2023

Many explanations have been forwarded about the interminable and seemingly everlasting road works on Thepprasit and Second Roads in particular. Last year, the rainy weather was blamed for refilling the holes as fast as they were dug out. Then it was the turn of the internecine warfare between the electricity, water and other local agencies which were unable to get their act together. From time to time it has also been argued that the money has run out whilst further funds are awaited.

The most recent candidate for blame, and a convincing one, is shortage of workers. City Hall does not employ foreigners but awards the contracts to Thai companies which do. Several companies have been involved over the last two years – burying cables and resurfacing roads are very different functions – but they have been reporting a significant lack of manual laborers from neighboring countries.

Even though pleas have been made to allow more registered migrants from Myanmar in particular, it can take up to four months to complete the registration bureaucracy with the labor and immigration authorities concerned. And the time scales for completion now? Some say August, others the end of the year. Time will show.

֎ The Miss Healthy Queens pageant will be held in Pattaya real soon. One contestant has already withdrawn feeling unwell.

֎ The Thai tourist authority is promoting a grand sale in Pattaya and beyond June 15-Augyst 13. In the so-called Hunting Season, 10,000 participating businesses will offer amazing deals and discounts. Now you know.

֎ A campaign is underway to make Pattaya as “walkable and wheelable city” to help the physically challenged and to promote the economy. Pipe dream scenario to be sure.

֎ The US embassy no longer gives letters of confirmation to Americans obtaining a new passport here in Thailand. Immigration offices have been told we are assured.

֎ Excellent sandwiches amongst other first-rate goodies from the Deli Factory out there on Soi Bongkot. Check out their website soon.

֎ When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. (Bob Hope)

֎ A reader asks why some officers raiding bars and clubs in Pattaya have DOPA displayed on their backs. It stands for Department of Provincial Administration, the body responsible for licensing issues. They are there to assist the police.

֎ A television set is rather like a toaster. You press a button and up pops the same thing almost every time. That’s according to Alfred Hitchcock.

֎ According to a British newspaper, the average size of a UK penis is just over five inches. But the article fails to clarify whether it’s measured flaccid or erect.

֎ Thailand’s foreign exchange reserves stand at around 220 billion baht. But internal and household debt was about the same. So the reserves come from borrowing and not from a current account surplus.

֎ If your urine is coloured purple, you are in the middle of a police raid on licensed premises. Just saying.

֎ Five times as many Chinese as Indians have entered Thailand this year. So why are there 80 or so Indian restaurants and hardly any Chinese? Answers on a postcard please.

֎ Need to contact the water or electricity company about supply problems? Try ringing 1337, the Pattaya city hall 24 hour number with English speakers, as they will pass on your message.

֎ Afraid of dying alone? Become a bus driver.

֎ The crucial debate on Thai social media about the best British breakfast in Pattaya has been replaced by the same debate about fish and chips. TIT This is Thailand.

֎ The first phase of the Bangkok to Kunming (southern China) high speed railway is scheduled for completion in 2026. When it will actually be completed is anyone’s guess.

֎ The latest tourist figures show China, Hong Kong, South Korea, Singapore and Malaysia providing the most visitors to Thailand right now. Not Russians, Indians or Europeans take note.

֎ There seems to be a lot of ladyboys in the straight gogo clubs right now both on Walking Street and along Soi Buakhao. Is this market demand or a shortage of female-born recruits?

֎ Notice on Jomtien restaurant. Please note the all-day breakfast is served from 7 am to 11.30 am.

֎ The tourism council asks how to encourage retiree expats to settle in Thailand. Abolishing the 90 days report might make a great start. Agreed?

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