Lonely without a boyfriend

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bobsaigon3
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#11 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby bobsaigon3 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:35 pm

My story is similar to Geezer's post #8. My Vietnamese partner and I have been together for 18 years. Totally trustworthy and reliable. If it were not for him, I would be forced to either look for a new person in Vietnam or Thailand, to care for me emotionally and physically, or return to the States, the latter being equivalent to voluntary departure from this life.

RichLB
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#12 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby RichLB » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:01 pm

Wow, 18 must be the magic number. I, too, have been with my Thai partner for 18 years and thank my lucky stars we found each other. I don't think I would ever be truly happy not having someone with whom to share my life. And, luckily for me, that someone is Ken.

fountainhall
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#13 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby fountainhall » Mon Aug 13, 2018 3:41 pm

Geezer wrote:One cannot understand Dok Kaew Gardens thinking of it only as a retirement community.

A business friend of mine from Chiang Mai told me about this facility a couple of years ago. One of her elderly gay Bangkok friends was in trouble with both boyfriend (ran off) and cash and so she got him into the facility. She has often suggested I take a loook at it, but I am not yet at the stage where I need to consider it.

She told me that the rental cost of a unit is amazingly inexpensive, given the extent of the facilities. Does that mean there is a waiting list? I wonder how one can get advantage of the facilities if one is suddenly struck down with some incapacitating illnesses.

Dodger
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#14 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby Dodger » Mon Aug 13, 2018 5:05 pm

Geezer...

Great story...and thanks for sharing that.

Undaunted wrote:Those falangs who have a boyfriend in his twenties are very unrealistic, does he really want to be with a grandfather? Forward 10 years the falang is in his seventies the b/f mid thirties generally the thought of this being a success is a mere fantasy.

Would it be better to be happy living the fantasy...or being successful at being lonely without it?

a447
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#15 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby a447 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 5:43 pm

What a wonderful story, geezer. It made my day.

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Undaunted
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#16 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby Undaunted » Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:15 pm

If I were at a stage where I could no longer care for myself whether a care giver or retirement place such as the one in Chiang Mai, providing I had the wherewithal I'd opt for a permanent way out!
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"

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windwalker
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#17 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby windwalker » Tue Aug 14, 2018 12:08 am

Like some others, met my long time bf 18 years ago.

Dodger
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#18 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby Dodger » Tue Aug 14, 2018 4:33 am

Farangholiday wrote:Personally i don't think I have ever really been in love with someone and I told him that and he then said I am missing out on a lot

Well, maybe you are missing out on a lot as your friend suggested - or maybe you're not. According to Buddhist beliefs falling in love with another person is actually an unnatural distraction from the real mission which should be falling in love with yourself.

"In Buddhism, striving for that which is outside of our true nature is seen as wasteful. Arbitrarily seeking fulfillment in another is an attachment based on a craving which will always ultimately end in suffering. Perhaps in this searching one can take one step closer to finding one’s true nature, one’s true vocation, one’s true purpose". (Words taken from the teachings of thich nhat hanh)

So maybe, in the eyes of a Buddhist you're actually closer to your true nature than you even know.

I adore my boyfriend. I love being with him. He adds so much to my life and sharing my life with him is great, but it is still my life and his life belongs only to him. When the day comes that I can no longer care for myself I will have to explore the options, but he would be the last person I would want to burden with that task. I love him too much for that.

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2lz2p
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#19 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby 2lz2p » Tue Aug 14, 2018 3:03 pm

I feel very fortunate to having met my bf almost 26 years ago, the first 10 years was a long distance relationship with my visiting twice a year for a couple of weeks each time. I retired in 2002 and came here to live, but a bit unsure at the time how it would go living together full time. Yes, there have been a few bumps as would be with any relationship, but overall we are very compatible and, I expect, will remain together until, most likely, my demise as I was in late 40's and he was 23 when we met.

Dodger
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#20 Re: Lonely without a boyfriend

Postby Dodger » Tue Aug 14, 2018 4:23 pm

2lz2p...26 Years!!! That's certainly a record. Congratulations to you both.

I know that Smiles and his BF Suphot must have been together for at least two decades now.

Come to think of it...where is Smiles???


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