Older farangs and free sex

[Gaybutton]

When exactly will I be a dirty old man who will get away with much more?

I can't answer that one, but you might as well start practicing . . .

[lvdkeyes]

Old dogs and new (young) tricks!

[Alex]

When exactly will I be a dirty old man who will get away with much more?

I can't answer that one, but you might as well start practicing . . .

Fair enough! I'll start practicing this weekend.

[blackbeard]

I don't know any of those gentlemen who make such claims here on this site in person, but as a general remark, I do know some older farangs personally who enjoy quite a lot of success when dating younger Thai guys, here in Bangkok. It does depend on many factors: Where do they look for these Thais and what are these Thais looking for? What's their approach, their dating strategy so to speak? Do they have something like charisma? How do they look for their age, well preserved or even 20 year older than they actually are? etc. etc.

Sorry for changing the topic a wee bit. Gay men are not the only men looking for sex with younger people. And, along those lines, I have a little story to tell.

Down around Tha Phae Gate in Chiang Mai, I was trying to enjoy a sandwich but was constantly interrupted by a farang at the next table, who was having a tearful confrontation with his girl friend. The air was full of such things as "Do you really love me? What does it MEAN when you say that you love me? Can I trust you? Can I REALLY REALLY trust you?" To be short: Western man at his most pathetic.

By chance, I was having dinner at a nice French restaurant that night, and in swept The Silver Fox: a very well-dressed Thai man accompanied by a Thai girl much more beautiful than the "beloved" of the tearful farang. The Silver Fox and his (?) date (?) mistress (?) enjoyed their dinner and then left, probably back to his quarters and more champagne.

Moral: If you're not having success with Thai boys, the fault may not lie in them, but in yourself.

[christianpfc]

Another experienced farang living in Thailand generally agrees: there is free sex out there, but you will pay for it in the time you spend looking for it. And it (usually) does not compare with the wide selection and availability you find in the bars.

I completely agree.

I don't doubt that old farang can have sex for free in Thailand.

But based on my experiences, meetings in real live that lead to sex are extremely rare (I don't remember any).

Meeting people for sex via gayromeo or camfrog, in gay discos or saunas works for me. But chatting up boys in my neighborhood does not work. I just can't get them separated from the group and into my room. It's like piece of soap (wet), as soon as you apply pressure, it's gone. I have several "declarations of intent" to study Thai and English together, so far none of them materialized. These boys know where I live and who I am. I wonder if chatting up strangers will be easier or more difficult than boys from your area.

And if you exchange phone numbers to meet later, you have the problem with traveling and space-time-management, my experiences with this are very poor.

While I don't doubt that gaybutton has met this 19 year old boy in a shopping mall and later met him again, I wonder how many times he (gaybutton) went shopping, and spotted and approached cute boys, bud did not get anywhere?

Sometimes I don't even have to leave my house. I've had several times when all I had to do was stand outside my door and wait. I've had boys passing by on motorbikes stop. I've had guys who were on my soi working at someone's house end up later with me. I've had guys going by in the back of a pickup truck make it clear they were interested. A smile brought them back my way later.

I've met them in shops, restaurants, convenience stores, and even just just walking down a street - virtually anywhere. I've even been in rural towns and ended up with a young willing guy.

I tried a similar approach (watching them play basketball, we even chatted some times after the match), just hanging out in my neighborhood, with absolutely no success.

Now the majority know that I am gay. When they look at me and chat with me, they think about sex as much as I think about food when I see a soi dog.

[Gaybutton]

I wonder how many times he (gaybutton) went shopping, and spotted and approached cute boys, but did not get anywhere?

Would you like me to start keeping score for you? Actually, that's never happened. I don't approach boys anywhere unless first I at least get what I consider to be an obvious, a very obvious, indication that he is interested. Without that, I make no approaches.

[christianpfc]

My problem is, outside gay venues (in real life and online), I very rarely (at the moment, I don't recall any case) have the impression that a boy is interested in me in a sexual way.

How often does it happen to you (and others)? Is it always you who approaches the boy? How do you start a conversation?

[Gaybutton]

How often does it happen to you (and others)? Is it always you who approaches the boy? How do you start a conversation?

There is no guidebook and there is no "always." Sometimes it seems to happen often and sometimes much time goes by before a likely candidate appears. Sometimes I'm intentionally on the hunt and sometimes not. My best successes seem to come most often when I'm not even looking or trying.

I've been approached and sometimes I do the approaching. After enough time, you just kind of know. If I see a boy obviously smiling at me, that's usually a very good sign. If I see a boy that interests me, I'll make eye contact and smile. I'll almost always get a smile back, but there are all kinds of smiles. If it's just a polite smile, that's usually the end of it. But if it's an "I've got one" smile, that's usually when I'll carry it to the next step.

How do I start a conversation? Simply saying hello works just fine. If it's just a quick hello back or if it's not acknowledged, that's the end of it. But from "hello," if it's a boy who is interested, there is never a problem finding something to initially talk about.

I compare it to fishing. Sometimes you reel one in and sometimes you don't. But I don't even try if the "fish" won't take the bait . . .

[lvdkeyes]

Some of this is rather silly. It's all random when it comes to meeting guys in other than gay venues. When I was single I was on a baht bus and it was pouring rain. At a traffic light a cute boy on a motorbike came up behind the baht bus. I smiled at him, he smiled back. At the next traffic light he was behind the baht bus again smiling. I quickly pulled out one of my cards and handed it to him. A few hours later he called me and we arranged to meet. All worked well, no money was mentioned or offered. We connected a couple of times after that. No money involved. On more than one occasion I have connected with waiters in restaurants, in fact, just last week a waiter told me he was available, but he knew I wasn't since I was with my bf. Shopping in Big C I have gotten big smiles from cute guys fairly often. It always surprises me when it happens.

[TomUK]

My problem is, outside gay venues (in real life and online), I very rarely (at the moment, I don't recall any case) have the impression that a boy is interested in me in a sexual way.

How often does it happen to you (and others)? Is it always you who approaches the boy? How do you start a conversation?

I am only coming as a tourist to Thailand, but during my various trips I have befriended guys working in a hotel, in a bookshop and an ice-cream parlour. I have also met guys through a Thai friend. So there really is life outside the gay scene.

TomUK