Older farangs and free sex

[christianpfc]

How many boys did you approach and give your phone number in the course of one year, how many called you and how many ended up in your bed?
For me, the numbers are (estimated) 15, 3, 0.

[Gaybutton]

How many boys did you approach and give your phone number in the course of one year

Christian, unlike you I don't keep a count and I don't keep score. I have no idea how many. The best answer I can give you is several. As for how many ended up in bed - if I gave my phone number and later, whether the same day or a few days later, the boy called me and wanted to meet, the answer is all of them.

[thaiworthy]

There is a motorcycle taxi driver that now and then comes into a coffee shop near our condo building, usually around the same time of day. After a leisurely chat with the owner, he parks himself on the curb outside and drinks his coffee while on a break. Sometimes he's alone, sometimes he's there to meet his wife and baby, already seated at a table. The mere sight of him drives me crazy. They just don't make them like this. He is SO masculine and cocky. I stare and stare and stare, and I might as well be invisible. Darn it. I guess I will never get over my shyness. I am doomed. He is dangerously attractive. But wife + baby = something I can never have. I tend to think of things from other people's points-of-view from time to time, not just my own. I am the pitiful, moralistic product of a rigid Catholic upbringing. But then I go to a go-go and sense nothing like the nameless "motorbike taxi driver goosebumps" I get at the coffee shop. Sometimes there is that person who makes your heart skip beats. How dangerous. But how fun! And I don't care if it's free or not. Why is that so important? I am in Thailand. I should be able to snap my fingers and have it happen just by waving 1000-baht bills in the air. I am 64 years old. Liberty and lust, I say! Why should I not hope for wanting my cake and eating it, too? Ha, ha. Usually I just shrug my shoulders when he comes in, and go back to the laptop. Here we go again. Well, a person can dream, can't he?

And if I do get his attention, what then? Short time room, wait till the boyfriend is away, back alley somewhere or wait until wifey drops off little junior at granny's? Huh? Huh? Huh? If this weren't so typical of what nearly every long-time married male must go through, then it would be hilarious. I know I'm laughing. I don't call this shyness, I call this a ridiculous infatuation. If I didn't think of it that way, I'd go crazy.

And I just don't think it's fair to capsulize "would-he-could-be" guys you meet in all public situations in a reaction-time bubble called "shyness." This really isn't all that important, anyway. I just think men's eyes wander, and if this is all they do, maybe that's OK. It's my call, but I seriously doubt every candidate of my wanderlust is a potential bed partner. "Never try, never know," says the barker outside a S&M bar on my way to Soi Twilight. So of course, GB, you are absolutely right. It's hard to argue with that. It's not you, it's me.

Sometimes I just think that if it's really only free sex, wouldn't you get what you pay for? If I wanted that, I could have stayed back in Texas. I can't really pursue every target within range. I ping once, twice, and if it weren't meant to be, I accept it. That's just the way it is. I do not live in Pattaya. Tomorrow I will go to the coffee shop again, and he might be there. He always appears when I least expect it. And in that regard, I shall have to remain cheerfully content with remote admiration. Maybe eventually we will smile. Maybe we will talk. I could be content with that. But until then, even in lust I realize, that sometimes discretion is indeed the better part of valor.

[Gaybutton]

It's not you, it's me.

Obviously you know what you need too overcome if you want to give this guy a try. If loyalty to your boyfriend is an issue for you, I'm certainly not going to try to pass judgment about the morality of "cheating" on him once in awhile, but ask yourself if you can really be certain as to what he does when he isn't with you.

I understand your dilemma. Let us know what you eventually decide to do - or not do.

[lvdkeyes]

If you want this motorbike taxi driver hire him for a ride to somewhere. Hold onto him on the bike and tell him, "I like you". What can it hurt?

[thaiworthy]

If you want this motorbike taxi driver hire him for a ride to somewhere. Hold onto him on the bike and tell him, "I like you". What can it hurt?

You are an absolute genius! I didn't even think of that. Duh. I don't know when I'll see him again, but I will try this for sure. I may get coffee-logged until then. Ha, ha! Thanks.

[windwalker]

lvdeyes, I know someone in Pattaya that did exactly that with a motorbike taxi driver who he lusted for and they did eventually hook up. Not sure if the driver was married at the time but he is now and has a family. Also has a car, motorcycle, condo/house. Thaiworthy has a lot to look forward to .

[christianpfc]

How many boys did you approach and give your phone number in the course of one year

Christian, unlike you I don't keep a count and I don't keep score. I have no idea how many. The best answer I can give you is several. As for how many ended up in bed - if I gave my phone number and later, whether the same day or a few days later, the boy called me and wanted to meet, the answer is all of them.

But you can give an estimation? If you say that you chat up a different boy every day, and after two years of doing so one of them called you, then I would say: Nothing to write home about.

Thaiworthy, I use the same excuses to justify not chatting up a boy. However mocy is the best job: he can disappear from work whenever he wants and can go anywhere in reasonable distance.

[Gaybutton]

But you can give an estimation?

You're asking me questions I can't answer. It doesn't happen every day and I don't chat up boys every day. I'm not out there actively seeking boys to chat up. When it happens, it happens. If I see a boy I'd really like to meet, then you can be damned sure I'm going to meet him. I simply go over and talk to him. If something comes of it, wonderful. If not, at least I tried. The only exception I normally make is if he is obviously with another farang.

I fail to see how the number of times I do that would have anything at all to do with your own chances of success. It has nothing to do with how many times I've succeeded. It has to do with you getting over your fear of rejection or embarrassment. If you're rejected or embarrassed, so what? You'll live. If I'm rejected, I might be somewhat disappointed, but nothing more than that. I know sooner or later there will be the next one to try - and the one after that and the one after that and the one after that.

Think about it in terms of going fishing. Sometimes you reel one in and sometimes you don't.

As I said above, I have no idea how many. I can't give you an estimation based on having no idea. And if I could, what would that mean to you or anyone else? That comes across to me as trying to come up with yet another excuse not to try. You have to make your own luck and you have to have confidence in yourself. Again, you're not going to get anywhere by coming up with reasons not to try.

You've said before you sometimes would even follow a boy, hoping for the right opportunity. To me, that is an absolutely nonsensical approach. What are you afraid of? If you see a boy you want to meet, just go up to him, smile, and say hello - right then and there, even if he is with a group. That's your opportunity and your chance. But if you don't, then you have no chance at all.

[christianpfc]

Indeed, I am always looking for excuses not to chat up a boy. Let's assume I mustered up the courage to chat up a boy, what do I say to him?

When traveling on bus or train "Where are you going?" works well. I originally thought this is stupid, because the bus or train has a destination, but you can get off at other stops and anyway, no boy ever chided me for asking this question.

But when you chat up a boy at his workplace "Are you working here?" sounds stupid. When he is somewhere not moving "Where are you going?" sounds stupid.

What do you say in these cases? Do you approach them in English or Thai? Do you try to make eye contact first?