Seeking opinions

[lvdkeyes]

A group of six go out to dinner to one of the more upscale restaurants. Three order desserts, one of which takes a long time to be served as it is cooked to order. The menu states this. Two of the diners who did not order dessert are unhappy about the wait and ask for their checks while the three who ordered desserts were still eating. They pay their bill and go outside to wait for the others as 4 of the 6 were in the same car. None are smokers, so the need to smoke wasn't a factor. How would you feel about this?

[Bob]

Depends upon the wait time for me. For maybe 30 minutes or less, it seems (just my opinion) that their behavior was pretty rude. If longer than that, I don't blame them (and think those waiting for the dessert should have actually said something like "this is going to take a while so, if you'd like to check out, please go ahead").

Sometimes it's probably helpful to know the habits of dining companions. Some people like to turn dinner into a 3-4 hour extravaganza whereas I'd consider that an ordeal I wouldn't willingly repeat (I wouldn't walk out but I can pretty much guarantee I'd be "unavailable" the next time).

[papillon]

That's what you get for dining with ruffians.

[lvdkeyes]

The wait for the dessert was 13 minutes. Total time in the restaurant was 2 hours.

[TOQ]

I think it was rude for the others to get up and leave the table. However, if it was me, I would not order a dessert that took that long to prepare knowing that the others would have to wait. Sounds like a Chocolate Fondant

[lvdkeyes]

Isn't the point of going out to a nicer restaurant with friends to enjoy company and conversation as well as the food or is it just to eat and get out as fast as possible?

[TOQ]

I agree with you 100% about enjoying friends and dinner. I would have probably ordered a different dessert than one that took that long to prepare knowing that the others in the party were not having a dessert.

[whitedesire]

I would not have invited "those so called friends" in the first place. The whole idea of having a dinner with friends is literally that. I have never left the table or moaned at someone having a starter or a desert, it happens all the time, during that time one is meant to have "conversation", and to leave the room and wait outside to have a cigarette is probably the only excuse to leave the room.

Ditch the friends.

[bao-bao]

I agree with you 100% about enjoying friends and dinner. I would have probably ordered a different dessert than one that took that long to prepare knowing that the others in the party were not having a dessert.

As do I. My guess is that this was a group of people who weren't on a two week visit, and then I'd say...

1) Manners probably should have alerted the person ordering the dessert to let the others know - maybe by saying "I'm going to be the slow one here. If you don't care to wait, that's fine", but I personally wouldn't simply order it and put the others in the uncomfortable position.

2) "Special" dinners out are a social experience as much as an opportunity for feeding the face. Meals like that ought to be enjoyed at a slower pace, both literally and in conversation. Bolt down lunch on the run, if you have to, but not dinner out with friends.

3) Agreed, you don't always know your dining companions, but if you do - such as a group of regulars - I think it's OK to politely say something (when they order the item or after dinner) before a resentment builds.

4) Without a need to leave early or go outside (i.e. have a smoke) I'd say it's rude to abandon the group, unless you've said earlier "I'm catching an 8:00 movie, so I can't stay long this evening". It would make me think you weren't all that interested in staying with the group, and I might ask you about it later.

5) If the one taking the extra time was one of the four in the car it's only polite to ask if any of the other three minded if you took the extra time.

I'm speaking as one who doesn't live there. On my visits I have more friends to see than I have time for, and to meet up with one of them and say "look, I've got an hour for you... talk fast" is something I can't see myself doing.

[Gaybutton]

Since the menu stated that particular desert takes a long time, then I think those who wanted it should have ordered it at the time they were ordering their main meal and asked that all the desserts be served at the same time. If they did not know what they wanted for dessert, then out of courtesy they should have ordered something else instead of making everyone wait.

To me, the ones who went outside were also being rude. You said they don't smoke, so I don't understand any reason for them to have gone outside other than to indicate impatience and give you a form of the "bum's rush."