THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school.
So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.
One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?"
Sure," said the janitor.
He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time.
Then he said, "You are now baptized!"
When they got outside, one of them asked,
"'What religion do you think we are?"
The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."
The youngest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"
They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?'
The youngest one said, "I think it means we're Pisskopailians!"
A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol ... Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke ...Dead.
The third worm in chocolate syrup ... Dead.
The fourth worm in good, clean soil ... Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
That pretty much ended the service !!