Profound thoughts

[Gaybutton]

Feel free to add to the list.
_______________________

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called
Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two
cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to
begin with?

10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives
a race car not called a racist?

12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?

13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it
be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older; then it dawned on me . .they're cramming for their final exam.

21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks
so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others
here for?

24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

25. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

30. Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of “Evian” water
know that spelling it backwards is “Naive?”

31. OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa
Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee
Titans?

32. If 4 out of 5 people “suffer” from diarrhea... does that mean the fifth one
enjoys it?

[lvdkeyes]

If prison and jail are synonyms, why are prisoner and jailer antonyms ?

[Gaybutton]

Why is 'fell' the only kind of 'swoop'?

Why do 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the same thing?

If a bizarre idea is farfetched, why isn't a good idea nearfetched?

There are AA and AAA batteries along with C and D batteries. What happened to A and B batteries?

Why, if you're healthy it's a shit, but if you're sick it's a stool?

Why are the letters of the alphabet in that order?

In polite society, why is it ok to prick your finger, but not ok to finger your prick?

[lvdkeyes]

When saying the alphabet why do all people say elimeno?

[Smiles]

29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Hemorrhoids don't grow on one's forehead?

[Undaunted]

29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Hemorrhoids don't grow on one's forehead?

Smiles in your situation you would be well advised to try an ear doctor with a long probe.

[Gaybutton]

Smiles in your situation you would be well advised to try an ear doctor with a long probe.

Can't you two stick to the topic subjects without bickering with each other all the time?

That's a rhetorical question. Voluntarily or my way, the answer is yes.

[Gaybutton]

[Gaybutton]

Why are there no new Christmas carols?

[gerefan]

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?