Not So Friendly Thailand

Anything and everything about Thailand
fountainhall
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#11 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby fountainhall » Fri Mar 30, 2018 5:08 pm

mahjongguy wrote:I've always felt that Taiwan is definitely the friendliest place in Asia. Smiles that aren't just an act. Truly kind and helpful people everywhere you go.

As must be obvious from my various posts in recent years, I agree 110%. They are lovely people - and certainly the loveliest of any Chinese guys i have met. There are many in the 20 - 35 year age range on the apps who seem just desperate to meet up with older foreigners. I have only come across two money boys in several years of using the apps in Taipei. An offer to reimburse train or subway fares is almost always brushed away. Want to see beautiful young guys? Just go to a hot spring. Unlike their Thai counterparts, young Taiwanese never cover their assets. They are perfectly happy walking around au naturel - and even chatting with a much older foreigner like me!

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#12 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Dodger » Fri Mar 30, 2018 8:00 pm

Gaybutton wrote:If a survey is ever done with at least part of the main criteria being how welcoming and friendly the country is to gays, I might be more inclined to consider the results.

There have been countless survey's conducted to measure how friendly a country is towards gays (see link below for one example) and surprisingly Thailand never seems to make it anywhere close to the top rankings. Spain always stands out as being numero uno

Now, if there were survey's taken to measure how easy it was for elderly gay men to have sex with young native boys of a given country that's a different source topic all together and Thailand would undoubtedly top the list

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out ... ts-n683201

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#13 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Dodger » Fri Mar 30, 2018 8:50 pm

Further thoughts on the subject:

After 20 years of living - thinking - and breathing Thailand I would simply categorize Thailand as being "Gay Accepting". Not necessarily gay friendly or unfriendly...just "accepting".

I think this behavior stems from the fact that Thais are very accepting of foreign visitors, regardless of where they come from or their sexual identities, as long as they provide a source of financial income. In this relationship: "Acceptance in exchange for Money" they (the Thais) are not necessarily joyously accepting of the visitor, they are joyously accepting of the money, thus the reason why the typical Thai Smile is geared more towards their polite acceptance of your money and not necessarily the acceptance of you as a person... similar to a Smile one would receive from a used car salesman in the West .. :D

In all my time and travels in Thailand the farang I meet who consider that Thais to be the friendliest people on earth are the ones who have plenty of money to donate. Conversely, a penniless farang usually finds himself on a desolate island wondering where all of the Smiles have gone.

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#14 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Gaybutton » Fri Mar 30, 2018 10:25 pm

Dodger wrote:a penniless farang usually finds himself on a desolate island wondering where all of the Smiles have gone.

Of course. Can you think of any countries where that is not the case? I can't.

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#15 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby fountainhall » Fri Mar 30, 2018 11:55 pm

I thought Thais were the friendliest people I had ever met - for my first two visits. Then I discovered Bali and in 10 visits in the first half of the 1980s I learned what unconditional friendliness and smiles really are. There was precious little gay activity that I noticed at that time, although I'm sure it was somewhere. Being based each visit in what was then a very non-commercial Ubud, I thought Bali a kind of heaven. Thereafter I could never see the Thais in the same light.

I can understand how many feel as Dodger. To a very large extent I agree. But having worked here as well as taken many vacations and then lived here, I think it is not just cash. It is also how useful you can be. I have had business friendships lasting more than 20 years. When we stopped doing business, it was as though most friendships had never existed. I still find it difficult to get used to this.

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#16 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Dodger » Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:56 am

fountainhall wrote:When we stopped doing business, it was as though most friendships had never existed. I still find it difficult to get used to this.

I don't want to get DEEP about this, but I've come to realize that Thais simply THINK and express their EMOTIONS completely different than us, almost as if their conscious minds are disconnected from their emotions. Or maybe this connection was never in place to begin with.

Buddhists always place a tremendous amount of emphasis on things like "impermanence". Grooming their karma's in preparation for their next life seems to be at the forefront of all their behaviors.

I was having lunch with my first Thai boyfriend (18 boyfriends back) and his closest friend who was departing as soon as the meal was finished for a 2 year hitch in the Army. They grew up in the same village, stayed connected for 20 years and referred to each other as brothers. When the meal was finished I decided to walk away from the table to allow them to have a few private moments together to say their goodbyes. To my amazement my boyfriend just starting walking behind me while his friend walked the other way never looking back. There was not even the slightest hint of the emotions. Not even a goodbye. It took me years to understand why they do this.

I remember a similar episode with my current boyfriend that sent me into orbit. We were helping each other pack our suitcases at Tarntawan Hotel after spending our first 3 month holiday together. No sooner than I clicked the latch on my suitcase I heard a knock at the door. It was the hotel concierge telling me that my boyfriend's taxi had just arrived at the hotel. I was hoping to have a few minutes alone with him before we left the room...you know, that western emotional stuff...but no luck. When we walked out of the hotel my boyfriend walked directly to the taxi - jumped in - closed the door - and never even waved goodbye as the taxi pulled away. I just stood there like an asshole waving at a rusty bumper. The doorman said something like..."Oh, your boyfriend go home now"...I was so angry that I just blurted out.."that little cock sucker never even waved goodbye". The doorman got embarrassed and just looked down at the ground.

I asked the little shit head about this the next time I saw him and his response was that parting ways naturally without any goodbyes means you will only be separated by time - and that when you are together again that time will have disappeared. He went on to say that goodbyes, and the type of emotions that we farangs exhibit during these types of departures or separations, was something that Thais only do when someone is going to die. I wasn't sure if I wanted to thank him for this enlightenment or just kick him in his balls for lying his ass off. In any event, I have gone on to witness this many many times.

If you ever want to test this theory, just watch how Thai boys act when they first see their mothers after a prolonged period of time. They simply walk up...say hi...the mother continues mashing of green stuff with her mortar and pestle...and the boy starts eating what's ever around. No emotions...no bear hugs or kisses...just as if they were together during the morning of the very same day.

Looking back, the only time I witnessed a Thai getting emotional and saying goodbye with heartfelt meaning was just a brief moment before my boyfriend Thep passed away. Saying this is not easy, but it's the truth. I just sat there lacking the courage to say goodbye.

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#17 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Gaybutton » Sat Mar 31, 2018 10:06 am

Dodger wrote:I've come to realize that Thais simply THINK and express their EMOTIONS completely different than us

I agree, but only in part. You're generalizing and coming across apparently assuming your own experiences typify and apply to all Thais. That is simply not correct. I've had my share of experiences too, a great many of them, and not even one was at all similar to yours.

The way you are putting it, to me it is the same as a foreigner visiting an area of the USA where racial prejudice is rampant and then going home convinced their own experience typifies all Americans.

Instead of saying "Thais simply THINK and express . . .", it would have been much better to say, "Many Thais simply THINK and express . . " My guess is it is a function of where they come from and regional customs.

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#18 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby fountainhall » Sat Mar 31, 2018 10:36 am

Obviously Thais reactions to foreigners, even those they have known for a long time, is partly cultural. I believe it is also something to do with Thai logic. This topic has come up quite a lot in chat rooms. I have never been able to get my head around Thai logic which appears very different from any other peoples I have known. We no doubt would have to delve way back into history to find out a little of why this might be

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#19 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Dodger » Sat Mar 31, 2018 5:29 pm

I think you're right. These behaviors we're taking about (Thai logic) are certainly well-rooted. The farther you look back - the deeper you go into the world of Buddhism and all the superstitious elements that go along with it.

I just finished my last work assignment and will be boarding a plane in the morning for my return to Thailand. He'll be heading to the bus station in Buriram to rendezvous with me at our favorite Hotel in Bangkok which has become routine. I think I'll skip the bear hug part and just pull his pants down and enjoy the same reality.

mai pen rai

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#20 Re: Not So Friendly Thailand

Postby Dodger » Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:04 pm

Gaybutton wrote:You're generalizing

I'm speaking about general characteristics of Thai cultural...of course I'm generalizing.

Cultural Characteristics: “A learned meaning system that consists of patterns of traditions, beliefs, values, norms, meanings and symbols that are passed on from one generation to the next and are shared in varying degrees by interacting members of a community.


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