Domestic Matters

Anything and everything about Thailand
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mahjongguy
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#1 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby mahjongguy » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:51 pm

Thank you, Peter.

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windwalker
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#2 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby windwalker » Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:00 pm

More than a bit depressing but true to life, Peter.

bobsaigon3
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#3 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby bobsaigon3 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:09 pm

Thanks, Peter, good one. Helps to keep us all in touch with the reality of these relationships.

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Gaybutton
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#4 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby Gaybutton » Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:12 pm

It really was quite idyllic until you got caught "cheating." Of course, you had no way of knowing whether he was also "cheating" on you. Either way, you're the one who got caught - twice - and that was on top of dragging him to go-go bars when you knew he didn't want to go.

While I respect and appreciate you telling us what happened, I think you probably are well aware that it was your own fault.

Many farang like having a boy live-in, but most of the time those relationships end in failure. While I'm sure some will respond by telling us their own live-in relationship with a Thai boy is, and for a long time has been, working beautifully. Unfortunately, the relationships that actually work are rare.

When you consider the age difference, the cultural difference, the interest difference, the language difference, and whatever else, I doubt very many people reading this need me to tell them the odds of a live-in relationship working well for both over the long term.

The lesson to be learned is be as certain as possible that it is going to work out well for both you and the boy - long before you have him pack up and move in.

I know many will disagree with me, but I still prefer to go by what I call the Richard Burk Philosophy - which I've posted many times before and think it is appropriate to post it again now:

"If you want love in Thailand, rent it."

fountainhall
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#5 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby fountainhall » Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:34 pm

Another wonderful story, beautifully written even though it is ultimately depressing.

I sometimes wonder how some of my farang friends manage their long term and still close relationships/partnerships with much younger Thais. None has lasted less than 13 years, one now 20, and most have gone through formal marriage overseas. Is it, I wonder, the fact than none of the Thais in such relationships ever was near a gogo bar - or indeed any other kind of gay bar? One met his then student partner in DJ Station. Another two from the earlier days of the Internet.

Back in 1996 I did meet a Thai in Heaven (sic), the sauna at the river end of Silom. We had dinner afterwards and quickly became lovers for a short period. Although I did not live in Bangkok then, I was here every month or so and a relationship blossomed - for a while. But I had learned from experience - some of it far from happy - that I can rarely make a long-distance relationship work. I know others can and do. It's just in my DNA that I can't. And so after six months or so, we split up. But I am happy that we remain good friends to this day, he became the first in his family to get a university degree and we continue to meet up for a gossipy lunch every month.

Since moving here, I find I am much more comfortable in a relationship with a young man who has his own good job, his own small room near his work but who happily comes over for the couple of free days he has most weeks. I took him to Hong Kong for his first trip outside Thailand which he loved. He has his own circle of friends who I sometimes meet over dinner. This way, though, we both maintain a commitment without always being on top of each other. No matter how passionate the feeling, I have the impression that always being with a much younger guy with no job and precious few interests must require too many compromises that I cannot make. I'm sure others are more tolerant!

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Undaunted
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#6 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby Undaunted » Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:02 pm

Thanks Peter,
It is human nature to want to love and be loved in return but when you have a relationship with a young man not only separated by age, but all the other things you mention, failure is almost inevitable.
"In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king"

bobsaigon3
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#7 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby bobsaigon3 » Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:33 pm

In hindsight, I see that I would have been much happier with an arrangement like Fountainhall's. It's probably the best way for most of us. The challenge is finding someone with his own good job, own room, etc.

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Jun
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#8 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby Jun » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:48 pm

A nice story Peter. You've certainly made it read like this is all your own fault, which is much more credible than trying to blame the other party, as people often tend to do.

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Smiles
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#9 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby Smiles » Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:52 pm

Thanks for this Peter ... you always get Sammy 'Peeps' into the conversation one way or the other.
The word "cunny" will now forever live on the tip of my tongue, at the ready for an appropriately annoying fool.
Cheers ... ( and just one more reason why I love living in Thailand )

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thewayhelooks
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#10 Re: Domestic Matters

Postby thewayhelooks » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:10 pm

Are you sure you want a cunny on the tip of your tongue?


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