"I not have money for pay room"

[Gaybutton]

The last few days and the first few days of every month I almost always get calls and messages from bar boys who don't have enough money to pay for their rooms. When I know it's legitimate - due to lack of customers and not due to them wasting their money on everything from drugs to tattoos to sending home to Mama what little money they do have - I do what I can afford to do to help them. Usually it's not more than 1 or 2 boys and is not very much money. I'm rarely asked for more than 1000 baht and I've never been asked for more than 3000 baht.

Lately it's been a little different. Many of the bars are virtually devoid of customers. Even the bars getting good customer numbers is not necessarily of much help to the boys if customers don't take the boys off, leave paltry tips, or all too often don't tip at all.

Over the past couple months, and right now, I'm getting more pleas for help to pay their rooms than I can recall ever getting before. I believe the pleas for help are legitimate because these are boys I know and most have been around for at least several months, but until now never complained of being unable to pay for their rooms. But over the past couple days I've received calls and messages from 9 boys - and I know them well enough to believe all of them.

Sheeeesh! Even as I'm writing this post a message came in - "I can not sleep i think about the room."

I don't know about others, but for me it's very difficult to have to say no. I can help a few, but I'm not about to go broke trying to help half the bar boys in Pattaya.

The way I deal with it is after I've helped as much as I can easily afford, I tell the rest of the boys the truth about the numbers of calls and messages I'm getting and explain that I can't afford to help everybody. I tell the boys I'm not going to help that they waited too long to ask. I tell them I already helped the first three boys who contacted me, but that's all I can do. And that's the truth.

I feel terrible having to turn down boys I know, like, and fully believe they are being honest with me, but not much choice. Some of the boys are telling me they're going to have to go back home to the rice farm if they can't pay for their room. I've even had some tell me they don't even have money enough to pay for the bus ticket back home and try to get me to buy the bus ticket for them.

Are any of you having a similar problem? How do you deal with it?

[Smiles]

" ... I've even had some tell me they don't even have money enough to pay for the bus ticket back home and try to get me to buy the bus ticket for them."

Actually, not a bad idea. A bus ticket to home/family won't be much more than 600 baht, and probably less if he chooses to go the cheapest bus (there being many choices these days ... from a 400B rattletrap to 6-700B VIP). At those prices a bus ticket is substantially cheaper a than help with a 1000B room.

And then, he'll be back in November with a case of sperm buildup and ready to service.

[Gaybutton]

And then, he'll be back in November with a case of sperm buildup and ready to service.

If it's not one of my most favorite A-List boys (one I probably would have helped stay in Pattaya anyway), I kind of hope he doesn't come back. Frees up time to meet "new" boys who come to Pattaya to try their luck.

I really do feel badly for the boys, but at the same time I admit to having no objection to taking advantage of the situation.

[Undaunted]

This is what you must say!

[Jun]

I feel terrible having to turn down boys I know, like, and fully believe they are being honest with me, but not much choice. Some of the boys are telling me they're going to have to go back home to the rice farm if they can't pay for their room.

I'm not sure what they pay for rooms, but think some of them suggested about 3000 baht a month. That sounds about right when they are sleeping 3 to a very basic room.

So that's like the equivalent of 2 long time offs @ minimum tip. Well if they cannot make that it really is time they looked for other career opportunities. Due to the ageing process, they are all eventually going to have to move onto something else anyway.

Then there are a couple of opportunities for self help. Some clearly get 2 or more offs per evening in peak season, so they really should be saving something for the quiet times. Or turning it into a seasonal job. Others might make a little more if they were prepared to go for long time.

Then, are they professional about their work ?

To maximize appeal to customers, there are simple steps to follow. For example, shaving, keeping free of tattoos, staying in good shape, grooming well & making quick polite replies to customers if working off a phone app.

If working in a host bar, don't all crowd around the same farang hoping to get a few drinks & 100 baht tip. Look around & assess if the other farang might actually be looking to off someone. Enjoying whiskey with 4 other boys on the same table might be fun, but it does not pay the bills.

When hired, do the maximum to encourage a repeat off (although the cute ones can get away with less).

A lot of them miss one or more of these steps, so this must contribute to running out of money in low season.

I've also had cases where they agree to meet at 10:00pm, then when I call, they are drinking, sleeping or whatever. Well all these smart phones have an alarm & if work starts @ 10:00pm, they should set the alarm just like people do in other walks of life.

To be fair, I suppose the boys you know well will have good character, but are they fully optimizing their approach to their chosen profession ?

As for helping them, is it not best to help by paying them for their services ? That way you're not going to encourage too many others to try their luck for a free handout. If word gets around.

[Gaybutton]

So that's like the equivalent of 2 long time offs @ minimum tip. Well if they cannot make that it really is time they looked for other career opportunities.

I agree with what you say in your post, but that is not the point. I'm not talking about things they can do to attract customers. The problem is the unusually low numbers of customers there are to attract lately.

I'm talking about how people handle it when they are inundated with pleas from boys who can't pay for their rooms. Undaunted advises to "just say no." That's very easy to tell somebody else to do, but it's not always so easy when it's you.

The responses I'm looking for are things some of you do when a boy you really like and you are convinced is telling you the truth, and it's a boy who has never worn out his welcome by coming to you for money help before, but for whatever reason it's a boy you cannot or will not help - what do you do? What do you say to him? How do you get out of it without hurting him or burning your own bridges with him?

Or do you? Maybe some of you just ignore his messages as if you never received them or bluntly tell him no - but I doubt many of you really do either of those.

[Undaunted]

I'm talking about how people handle it when they are inundated with pleas from boys who can't pay for their rooms. Undaunted advises to "just say no." That's very easy to tell somebody else to do, but it's not always so easy when it's you.

I have lived here almost as long as G.B. has and it is dump giving these boys money for anything but food or medical care, if you go beyond this you are known as an easy target and the jungle drums alert the other boys that you are a dumb falang, so say no enough times and those same drums will tell others not to bother you to this I will add be very leery when giving out your phone number!

[artic55]

I have received similar pleas many times in the past, I am just like you GB just can't say NO if I can help, which I usually can especially to some of the very nice boys I have met the past. I have sometimes taken the opportunity to have some fun with them when they ask, but if I am not in Thailand at the time of request I usually just explain the situation and promise to meet them when I return.

[colmx]

Like GB I have found that the number of support requests in the past 5 weeks has also gone through the roof
If I am in Pattaya I usually use my BF as an excuse, tell them he has all my money and if they need something to ask him... Of course very few but the ultra confident or desperate would ask him!

Now I am back home, I have also used a new lie recently "now I not work, wait for start new job next month" so far it has deflected a few !

[Jun]

Or do you? Maybe some of you just ignore his messages as if you never received them or bluntly tell him no - but I doubt many of you really do either of those.

Well I show up in high season enjoy myself & go home. Whilst I might have seen a few boys more than 5~6 times, none of them have asked me for money when I am not in Thailand. I've had the odd request from people in Cambodia, Vietnam etc. These are people I have never met or only met a couple of times, so of course I say no, or even ignore the request.

I'm sure it's much more difficult for those of you who are around regularly, as I hope to be in the not too distant future. With the huge uncertainties over stock markets, exchange rates etc, I don't expect to ever be handing out several thousand baht every month for other people's rent. So I should probably shut up & learn how others deal with it.

Assuming it's the type of boy you like, would it not make sense to invite the guy around to earn his money ?