Older farangs and free sex

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Gaybutton
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Gaybutton »

christianpfc wrote:I can't chat up boys, but I would like to.
You're a grown man. If you're going to continue with this "I can't" instead of realizing it's actually "I won't", then you've got two choices. One is to deal with it and get over it, even if you have to force yourself. The other is to continue watching boys you'd like to meet walk away, never to be seen again and never knowing you wanted to meet them.

Just this evening RichLB, Richard Burk, another friend - not a board person, and I went out to dinner. I actually had you in mind and tested the waters with our waiter - who set off my "gay-dar." I flirted with him a little bit during dinner. I told him "Oh, I like. You are very handsome waiter." He definitely liked that. Every time he came by our table I said things such as "You very good waiter." "I lucky have very handsome waiter." Things like that. I didn't take it any further than that because it's a restaurant I go to fairly often and I didn't want to get involved. However, this was the first time I've ever seen this particular waiter there. When we were leaving he gave me a big smile, a wai, and a bow. I know from his response if I had given him my phone number I'd probably already have a call. It's so simple. Nothing difficult about it at all.

I don't know what more can be said to you. Make your choice.
windwalker

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by windwalker »

I recently perused many of Christian's blogs and, based on that, he doesn't need any help in "chatting up" Thai boys. He does more in a week than I do in years and I believe that is true for many of us.
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Bangkokian »

Gaybutton wrote:
christianpfc wrote:I can't chat up boys, but I would like to.
You're a grown man. If you're going to continue with this "I can't" instead of realizing it's actually "I won't", then you've got two choices.
What an incredibly insensitive and downright rude reply.
Get it into your head not everybody is as self assured as you.
Christian and I and many more would like to, but CANNOT, chat up at the drop of a hat but would like to! Got it?
I'm sure that there are many things that you would like to be able to do but cannot. How about learning Thai for a start? I'll leave others to think of other things that you might have problems with.
I'll copy this message in case it accidentally gets deleted or edited.
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by christianpfc »

windwalker wrote:I recently perused many of Christian's blogs and, based on that, he doesn't need any help in "chatting up" Thai boys. He does more in a week than I do in years and I believe that is true for many of us.
Talking is no problem, but getting them into my room doesn't work.

Maybe gaybutton has a better gaydar. I chat up every boy I find attractive, if the situation is suitable (that's a big "if", and there are many excuses).

And you have to consider location: in Bangkok, distances are a big problem, in Pattaya not so much. I travel a lot, where-ever I go I usually stay 3 days, and my time in Bangkok is interrupted by these trips.
thaiworthy

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by thaiworthy »

I understand some cannot always approach people in public, including the 7/11 stores. In my case, I won’t, and can’t, because I have to ask myself, “where is it going to go?” I don’t want to come again some place I go regularly if it turns out badly and I see this person again, (like my coffee shop motorcycle guy) and I prefer to think of all the possible consequences to my actions beforehand. People in public are strangers and there are risks that in my estimation are more diminished in the bar system. Not that the bar system is by any means perfect, but at least the numbers on the badges are automatically associated with known persons. You start without entanglements and you end that way, mostly. Sex workers are accountable for their actions to some degree. While gold is where you find it, I won’t go prospecting in a 7/11. There are far, far more people meeting Thais in the bars than there are in a 7/11. Lucky 7/11 is a rarity, I believe, and not on the Thai gay mecca circuit. You can meet anyone, anywhere— but if I turn off my instincts and let fate take over-- then I believe, for me, it would be far too risky. Even some Thais can be extremely unreceptive to sexual advances if they are adamantly straight. I would have to judge the mood, situation and personality of the person first, and that takes more time than is normally allowed in a 7/11 store. It is not a matter of being afraid, just cautionary. This scene is not perfect for everyone.

Then there are health problems of some farang as well. Not everybody is in the pink. At our age, we may have a myriad of health problems that can be onset or hampered by the hearthrob of our dreams. Heart problems, respiratory, mobility problems, medication dependancies. (Mine is low blood sugar.) When all I came in for was a carton of milk, it seems incongruous to me to walk out with Mr. Right Now as well.

There is a story told to me by a friend recently. He met someone in a shopping mall and took him to his home. They had sex, but there was no mention of money. Later, the guy asked for 2000 baht and refused to leave, staying in the nude and refusing to put on his clothes. They argued. If I recall correctly, my friend somehow got him to the doorway and threw his clothes into the hall. There was some pushing and shoving. My friend is a pretty good judge of character, so it shocked me that this could happen. It could have been a lot worse. But it could happen to anyone. You never hear these embarrassing tales, you only hear of the successful ones.

I absolutely loathe that Richard Burke comment "If you can't find love, rent it." Thais are not commodities like cars and motorcycles. You don't "rent" other human beings. Not every cute Thai boy we see is here for us at our whims like picking apples from a tree. Farang are not a superior race that can buy Thais like clothes off a rack in the midst of their daily routines. They are people and deserve respect. I understand Bangkokian and Christian. Christian behaves quite well by letting such comments roll down his back. I just wish Bangkokian had phrased his frustration another way.
bdlgay

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by bdlgay »

thaiworthy wrote:I understand sod somehow got him to the doorway and threw his clothes into the hall. There was some pushing and shoving. My friend is a pretty good judge of character, so it shocked me that this could happen. It could have been a lot worse. But it could happen to anyone. You never hear these embarrassing tales, you only hear of the successful ones.
A well written, intelligent reply.

The experience of your friend is an example of what I said earlier: I think in most cases where an old Farang scores a Thai gay boy for free, there is in the boy an unspoken expectation of money.
I understand from Gaybutton there are exceptions, but it can't be that many.
Even he - as he admitted - often still gives the boy money after the deed. And I think in most cases that is exactly what the boy hoped for. And secretly expected.

But I am sure there are exceptions and that you can as a 60 year old fuck the same 18 year old hot Thai gay boy for many days and not pay him anything at all (or only his travel expenses). But it must be exceptions. But maybe I am wrong.
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Gaybutton »

I don't agree with much of your post above, Thaiworthy. It doesn't matter whether it's a 7-Eleven or anywhere else. It doesn't have to be one close to home or one you would be likely to return to if things go wrong. I don't go to convenience stores with the intent of trying to find a boy. Other than maybe the bars, I really don't go anywhere with the intent of trying to find a boy. If it happens, it happens. I'm fortunate enough to have more than I can handle on my "A-List" as it is. It wasn't all that long ago that I would have murdered my mother to have that problem . . .

Also, regarding the story about your friend who took a boy home, I would never do that. If I was interested in him, I'd give him my phone number, but would never immediately take him home. I'd also make sure to find out if he's a money boy and what he expects before I'd ever take him home. Sure, no matter what you do there is always the possibility of encountering someone who turns out to be some kind of nut, but that is so rare it wouldn't stop me from meeting boys. After all, there is also the possibility of being hit by a car, but that doesn't stop me from crossing a street.

I don't know whether people post about embarrassing tales, but I've certainly seen some. Maybe there aren't very many embarrassing tales for people to post about. What would be the embarrassing part anyway? An encounter either works out or it doesn't.

I gather from your post you decided against trying anything with that motorbike taxi driver.

bdlgay wrote:Even he - as he admitted - often still gives the boy money after the deed.
There is a big difference between giving money to a bar boy or Gay Romeo boy as opposed to a boy you met somewhere by random chance. You forget one little thing - a bar boy is expecting money. A boy you meet elsewhere has no idea in advance whether money will be offered or not.

What's the problem about giving, or at least offering, money to any of these boys? Most boys I meet are working class boys and I know they don't have much money. I don't have to offer them money. I don't feel obligated if nothing about money was said or hinted at in advance. I offer money because I want to. I think it's the right thing to do. But I don't offer it until the boy is ready to leave - after his 'visit' to my humble abode.

I also said that sometimes, despite the offer, the boy refuses to take any money.

When you say "it can't be that many", how do you know? Until you've been here and have been meeting boys yourself, you have no way of knowing.

I'm not sure what you are trying to theorize. Are you trying to say the only, or at least most common reason why younger boys are willing to go with older farang is due to money? That probably is the most common reason, but it doesn't mean that reason isn't also combined with other reasons. It's those other reasons that have me puzzled. But I'm not going to actively try to figure out what those reasons might be. I don't care what they might be. Knowing the reasons won't change anything. I'm just very happy that whatever those other reasons might be, they exist. As I said, that's good enough for me.
thaiworthy

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by thaiworthy »

Most of the time when I go to a 7/11 it is close to where I live, within walking distance. I don't know why I would go to a convenience store that was so far out of my way. The ice cream would melt in this heat. And even then, I probably wouldn't even notice a cute Thai guy in a 7/11. I don't cruise there. If he wrestled me to the floor, I still wouldn't notice. I get my bread and milk and get out.

The coffee shop presents a more sociable climate. I don't go to the coffee shop every day and when I do, my motorcycle friend doesn't always come in. So it's hit and miss. I am not in agony over wanting ecstasy with him. My dating days are over and that's OK. But I don't stop being human. As a man, I still have desires when I do notice people. When I spend at hour in the coffee shop my seat is right next to the door, so I see everyone who comes in. An hour is plenty of time to observe people.

I agree with you giving out phone numbers is the best course of action. I guess my friend let his penis do the thinking for him. Everybody makes mistakes. This is hindsight. I'm sure he'll never do that again. But my approach is slower than yours. Nobody knows about the possibilities of things going wrong. It's like Christian asking you how many times you are successful per phone call returned, etc. He is constructing a formula. There is no formula. You don't know, nobody knows. If the encounter works out, like you said, that's great. If it doesn't work out, it's a non-event. Zero. And you can't multiply by zero. It's not a number.

Anyway, I think disagreement is a good thing from time to time. This is only an opinion, my opinion, from my point of view, and you from yours.
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Gaybutton »

thaiworthy wrote:I don't know why I would go to a convenience store that was so far out of my way.
You wouldn't. I meant if you just happened to be in one. My successes happen most often when I'm not looking for it. It just happens.
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Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by christianpfc »

thaiworthy wrote:You never hear these embarrassing tales, you only hear of the successful ones.
I don't recall an embarrassing encounter, but many unsuccessful ones. While you rarely read about unsuccessful encounters on the forums (this includes gogo or massage that were duds), I report honestly about everything, and there are plenty of duds and time wasters (that might apply to me as well, being a dud when a boy I met for free and would like to meet again is not interested, or being a time waster when online dating that leads nowhere).
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