Older farangs and free sex

Anything and everything about Thailand
Post Reply
User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 21459
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 2 times
Been thanked: 1306 times

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Gaybutton »

christianpfc wrote:What do you say in these cases? Do you approach them in English or Thai? Do you try to make eye contact first?
For Pete's sake, Christian, what do you want, lessons and a script?

I don't know about others, but when I talk to somebody I actually make eye contact. Where else would I look?

English or Thai? What difference does it make? Say hi in Swahili if you want to. The point is it lets the boy know you're interested and you'd like to talk with him. What do you say to another farang when you first meet? What do you say to a bar boy when you first call him over to sit with you?

Ok, first you smile and say hi. Don't try to put on an act - have some confidence and just be yourself. Then you say whatever comes naturally or seems appropriate. If you're so frightened or so tongue-tied that you can't think of anything else to say, give him a compliment. Nobody is going to be upset by receiving a compliment. "You very handsome ( or "You very cute"). I like. What your name?" - and take it from there. That's "Thai-nglish." But you can speak Thai, so say it in Thai.

Now you've made your approach. Since your approach came unexpectedly he'll likely feel both surprised and flattered. You probably made his day. Wouldn't it make your day if someone you never met came over to you, complimented you, and made an effort to talk to you? How would you react? Would you be friendly or would you tell him to fuck off?

After that, I can't tell you what to say, but try to strike up a conversation about something - anything - and then either invite him for a drink or a cup of coffee or something right then, or give him your phone number and tell him you would really like him to call you. Maybe he'll give you his phone number too. Whether he gives you his phone number or not, if he's interested, believe me he'll call. Maybe you'll really hit the jackpot and he'll want to go with you immediately. You never know. And if you don't try, all that will ever happen is watching him disappear while you're standing there wishing you had the guts to at least make an approach.

You must get yourself over this shyness unless you want to spend your life hoping the boy of your dreams will come along and he's going to be the one who does the approaching. Do you really need me to tell you that's not going to happen and it doesn't work that way? This is life, not a movie.

Did you read naughty but nice's post on "The luck of 7/11" topic? He merely talked about the weather with a boy and bingo! Now he's going to end up with not one, but two boys out of it.

I asked you a question that you didn't respond to: What are you afraid of?

Whatever you're afraid of, you need to either force yourself to get over it and start trying or you're doomed to sticking with bar boys or Saranrom Park boys. And whatever you do, don't give up if you get rejected. Keep trying - every time you see a boy you're attracted to. It won't take long to learn how to approach and what to say. Just like going fishing, sooner or later you'll reel one in.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
- President Franklin D. Roosevelt
firecat69

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by firecat69 »

Just ask him when he gets off work. If he's interested he will let you know!
User avatar
christianpfc
Posts: 1507
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:26 pm
Location: Bangkok Sathorn
Has thanked: 329 times
Been thanked: 26 times
Contact:

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by christianpfc »

Gaybutton wrote:I asked you a question that you didn't respond to: What are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid, I'm just waiting for the right moment (which will never come) and ponder/procrastinate until he's gone. And, as you might have noticed by my previous comments and questions, chatting up strangers is not in my nature.

(Should make a sheet with possible circumstances and chat-up lines:
boy alone, at work, traveling, with family, with friends, ...
ask for time, directions, make compliments, talk about weather, ...)
User avatar
Gaybutton
Posts: 21459
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:21 am
Location: Thailand
Has thanked: 2 times
Been thanked: 1306 times

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Gaybutton »

christianpfc wrote:chatting up strangers is not in my nature.
Only because you choose for it to be that way. Saying that is just another excuse for doing nothing and perpetuating failure. You don't need to write opening lines. That's not only highly anal retentive, but it's also the worst thing to do. You'll come across as phony and/or a fool.

You say you're not afraid, but just waiting for the right moment. I fail to see a significant difference. Either way, you're avoiding. When you say it's not in your nature, some might call that a cop-out, lame rationalization. There's nothing biologically ingrained into your nature. What's in your nature is what you put there yourself. You put it there. You can also remove it. You can deny it if you want to, but your whole problem is fear of rejection. The day you can get over that, can handle it if you get rejected, and can just move on to the next try without worrying about having been rejected - that's the day you'll start bringing boys home.

What right moment? There is only one right moment - now - right now. How much longer are you planning to wait for a right moment that never comes? How many more boys are you going to watch disappear without ever knowing how they might have responded? How many have you already watched disappear? Stop it! Stop doing that. Since waiting for some elusive right moment isn't working, well then, by God, try a wrong moment.

For heaven's sake, all you're going to do is simply say hello to somebody. Forget everything else. Walk up to the boy and say hello. You've tried everything except that and so far everything you've done has been an utter failure. One word. One little word - hello. That's all it takes.

Just be yourself. Forget about writing down chat-up ice breakers or anything else. Just walk up, say hello, and start with that.

No more excuses, Christian. Just do it.
lvdkeyes
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:40 pm
Location: Pattaya
Been thanked: 38 times
Contact:

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by lvdkeyes »

And it goes on and on and on.
bing

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by bing »

HI Christian,
I am no type of expert, but at about 76 I can make an observation about finding young companions. If in a bar it is like fish in kettle, mmm don't really need a line. The boys will be all over you. If you put your mind to meeting someone, then after you make eye contact, no matter if it be in a department store, restaurant or the mall, just smile and nod your head to acknowledge the young man, if he is open to meeting he will respond and then chat follows.. You are fit young man yourself and I think you have more boys falling over you, than you can count.. he he he Enjoy.
User avatar
bao-bao
Posts: 898
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:29 am
Has thanked: 57 times
Been thanked: 7 times

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by bao-bao »

Gaybutton wrote:
christianpfc wrote:chatting up strangers is not in my nature.
What's in your nature is what you put there yourself. You put it there. You can also remove it.
Reminds me of something I was told long ago when I was dealing with uncomfortable situations and fears: "You're not a chair - you can change", and I've found that to be true. Take the risk, Christian. All they can do is say "no".
bdlgay

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by bdlgay »

What is it with Thai gay boys that they sincerely seem to like "old" (50+) men?

If I make eye contact in the Netherlands (were I live) with a young gay guy of say 18-20 years old, he has one of the following reactions:
1) He ignores you totally
2) Or he looks at you like you are some pervert
3) Or his expression indicates "how can you seriously think I could possibly be interested in you?"

I think it is far more difficult to get free sex with an 18 year old gay from The Netherlands as a 50 year old, than (if I am to believe the experiences related in this thread - and I do) in Thailand. I wonder why that is! Genes? Culture?
User avatar
Trongpai
Posts: 1438
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:21 am
Location: Bangkok, Ram Intra
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 310 times

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by Trongpai »

I'm rather intrigued by the recent shift in thinking that puts a lot of weight on neurobiology or how our brain is prewired to a preset personality rather than the casual consequences how you were raised or what you learned. It might be easer to modify behavior that was influenced by some environmental factor(s) than to fight the structures of your brain. This leads to the assumption that some people are just born shy and have problems in social interaction and others are born with outgoing personalities. Both come to this state of being naturally. There's limits on what we can change.

Really not much different than being born gay. Most gay people accept that as a fact. Yet many gay people seem to be unaccepting of people that have different personalities, likes and dislikes. Why can't you be more like me?

Apparently, there's even a 'happy gene'. I know quite a few people that are missing that gene and love to be miserable.

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=hap ... CBsQgQMwAA

I wonder if they'll ever find the 'asshole' gene. I've known quite a few people that were assholes. Most completely unaware that they are/were assholes.

I guess Popeye said it best, "I am what I am, and that's all that I am"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience
User avatar
christianpfc
Posts: 1507
Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:26 pm
Location: Bangkok Sathorn
Has thanked: 329 times
Been thanked: 26 times
Contact:

Re: Older farangs and free sex

Post by christianpfc »

Gaybutton wrote:When you say it's not in your nature, some might call that a cop-out, lame rationalization. There's nothing biologically ingrained into your nature. What's in your nature is what you put there yourself. You put it there. You can also remove it.
Only to a certain degree.

I can't play football and I don't want to play football, everything fine.

I can't chat up boys, but I would like to.

I wanted to study Thai language, and I did, and learning Thai didn't pose any significant difficulties.

For other people, it's distributed differently (activities that are without effort, and activities that pose problems).
Post Reply